All {couples} need to preserve their relationships pleased, wholesome, and long-lasting however additionally they know that it takes time and onerous work.
Are you hungry for love? Many people usually search for an individual to finish us. Nevertheless, the fact is that nobody however ourselves can do that. Why? Since you are 100% chargeable for your personal happiness.
As a pair, you’re two complete individuals going into your relationship. You are there for one another to create a nurturing surroundings — nudging you each towards well being and wholeness.
What do you need in a wholesome relationship? You seemingly need intimacy, belief, security, playfulness, encouragement, love, and compassion. However are you each able to take 100% duty to make it occur?
Wholesome relationships shouldn’t be onerous, however you’ll undergo tough instances. Are you each ready to be taught via the ups and downs of your relationship?
Should you each can say “sure” to this, you’re prepared to start the journey and learn to have a wholesome relationship that lasts.
Listed here are three uncommon character traits individuals in essentially the most wonderful relationships have:
1. Self-awareness
So that you can have the potential for a very good relationship, it’s good to have some self-awareness. A superb place to start out is to know your strengths and rising edges (weaknesses).
That you must be prepared to work in your weak areas. Working in your private development takes dedication, self-love, braveness, and vulnerability. Your companion is to help and encourage you on this important work.
A superb instrument you should use that will help you on this work known as the Enneagram. Most Enneagram academics imagine that early in life, we’re every given considered one of 9 totally different character sorts to outlive on this planet.
Your character sort is similar as your ego. You can not survive with out it.
Once you attain maturity, it’s time to let go of your ego. Should you don’t develop into conscious of how your character is limiting your decisions, you usually tend to keep caught in outdated patterns (behaviors) that now not serve you.
Discovering your character sort will aid you to develop into extra observant of your self in motion. Figuring out your sort will aid you to know what behaviors it’s good to monitor. Finally, with apply, it is possible for you to to cease outdated patterns from recurring.
The extra you possibly can reside totally in your quiet thoughts, within the sensations of your physique and the feelings of your coronary heart, the extra current you may be for your self and the one you like. The extra current you’re, the higher in a position it is possible for you to to attach together with your companion.
2. Honesty
With rising self-awareness, you may be extra sincere with your self and the particular person you like.
Once more, beginning with your self is a superb place to start. Should you can’t be sincere with your self, it’s onerous, to be sincere with anybody else, particularly in a relationship.
What does it imply to be actually sincere? Honesty means being prepared to confess to your self why you need to do one thing or why you’re behaving in a selected method.
The subsequent stage is messy and that is the place curiosity is available in. In case you are getting unfavourable suggestions due to your conduct, or individuals don’t appear to know you, it’s time to step again and discern what’s going on.
That you must ask your self, “Why am I behaving this fashion?” It’s time to get interested in what’s going on in your head. What tales are you telling your self? Then, ask your self if there may be any fact to those tales.
Then with braveness re-write your story to call the way you need your life to go.
What are your passions? What’s in your bucket checklist? What do you want out of your companion that will help you reside out your goals? What do you need to reside out together with your companion?
3. Kindness
Kindness in your relationship could make all of the distinction. I don’t imply being good.
Kindness is all about you with the ability to see the sweetness, thriller, and worthiness of one other particular person.
Kindness calls upon you to start out by being type to your self. It requires you to cease judging your self and others. It’s to have the ability to settle for your self and others as you’re in every second with all of your imperfections.
Dwelling with compassion requires you to reside within the second. It’s to be taught to forgive your self and others so that you just don’t permit negativity to get in the way in which sooner or later.
This radical way of life requires you to take 100% duty for your self. It’s time to cease blaming others to your unhappiness.
Lastly, kindness calls upon you to indicate appreciation for all of the individuals in your life. It’s to by no means take your companion with no consideration. It’s to indicate gratitude to your companion each day regardless of how small, or massive the act was.
There isn’t a such factor as an ideal relationship. However, there may be such a factor as a joyful and fulfilling one. To have one of the best relationship you possibly can have requires intimacy, belief, security, playfulness, encouragement, love, and compassion.
Intimacy requires you to be prepared to go deep into your coronary heart and never be afraid to face any anger, ache or concern. You may have a shadow aspect, however the extra you possibly can acknowledge it, the much less management it would have over you.
With kindness, you possibly can help one another via tough instances. Within the good instances, you’ll expertise goal, pleasure, and that means in ways in which you by no means dreamed was attainable.
Roland Legge is an writer, Licensed Non secular Life Coach, and instructor of the Enneagram. He helps individuals connect with their inside selves and discover alignment with their highest goal and values.
This text was initially printed at REL Consultants. Reprinted with permission from the writer.
