My boyfriend and I’ve been collectively for 13 years and we’ve no intention of getting married. Ever.
Whereas lots of our mates are tying the knot, we’ve been busy making different life plans.
Marriage isn’t one thing that we’re pushing aside. It’s simply one thing that we’ve determined to not take part in.
Listed below are 5 causes I will by no means, ever marry my boyfriend of 13 years:
1. Marriage would not add something helpful to our lives
Once I take into consideration marriage, I can’t consider something helpful that it brings to my life. After 13 years collectively, Josh and I are already dedicated to one another. It wouldn’t function a barrier in opposition to breaking apart due to… divorce. It gained’t make our future youngsters’s lives simpler to grasp as a result of we don’t plan on having any. It gained’t assist both of us turn out to be extra financially steady, as a result of we each have jobs and have been splitting prices 50/50 since our teenagers.
2. A marriage can be a waste of our time and cash
It solely prices $80 to get legally married in Philadelphia the place we dwell. No huge deal. A marriage, although? Costs can get fairly outrageous. And neither of us has mother and father who might assist pay for the occasion. Certain, we might have our mothers make the meals, brew our personal beer, and thrift all of the decorations. However even a marriage on an excessive price range prices time and cash.
Josh and I are each making an attempt to advance our careers, construct companies, repay debt, make sensible investments, get monetary savings, and nonetheless have the time and capital left over to take pleasure in ourselves. I can’t consider any worthwhile cause to have a marriage, even when it by some means solely price $100. Our family and friends know that we love one another. We will have a good time it with a home occasion if we needed to.
Oh, and I can’t overlook to say the insane price of engagement rings. The value of most rings might in all probability repay my pupil loans or put a down fee on a brand new rental property. And, to me, that appears far more romantic than a stone on my finger.
3. It might be a burden for our family members
Have you ever ever performed an essential position in another person’s wedding ceremony? You probably have, you might have discovered it to be a variety of work. Possibly you want that type of factor. That’s completely wonderful. However, from my expertise, different individuals’s weddings price some huge cash and time.
Our mates are paying off pupil debt and making an attempt to construct lives for themselves. Our mother and father barely manage to pay for to cowl their very own payments. The very last thing we need to ask them is to purchase clothes and fits, and provides us items. Certain, it might be superior to occasion with all of our family and friends, however we might simply as simply invite everybody over for a BBQ in our yard.
4. We each come from divorced households
Our mother and father’ divorces didn’t make us lose religion in love. If something, it taught us what NOT to do in a relationship. What divorce did do was present us that marriage doesn’t imply a lot when divorce is such an accessible possibility. It additionally confirmed us that marriage doesn’t make a relationship completely satisfied or higher. The truth is, we realized that marriage was fairly insignificant when it got here to whether or not our mother and father have been completely satisfied or sad of their relationships.
My aunt and uncle have been collectively longer than anybody I do know they usually have been by no means married. My dad has been along with his girlfriend for 5 years and is happier than he ever was whereas married. My mother was along with her boyfriend for 13 years and was depressing. There are every kind of conditions with relationships, however marriage, from my expertise, doesn’t appear to play any position in whether or not they’re good ones or not.
5. We do not care about social norms
Get married simply because that’s what I’m imagined to do? No thanks. It doesn’t matter to me what everybody else does relating to marriage. I attempt to dwell my life based mostly alone beliefs and targets. I’m not getting married, irrespective of how upset or uncomfortable it makes another person.
Let’s be clear, we don’t hate marriage or individuals who get married. I imply, Josh is a marriage photographer who SERIOUSLY loves his job. No matter which means or worth that you simply personally placed on marriage is your online business. For those who suppose marriage is probably the most sacred and delightful factor on this planet, then it’s. It’s an idea that’s yours to outline.
All I can say is that I hope you’ve given your stance on marriage some thought earlier than you make investments your cash, time, and feelings into the method.
Shannon Ullman is a author who focuses on journey and journey, girls’s well being, popular culture, and relationships. Her work has appeared in Huffington Publish, MSN, and Matador Community.
