My sons can hear me unscrew a bottle of nail polish from throughout the home. All three of them, ages six, 4, and two, come at a run.
They barge into the lavatory, sucking up all of the respiratory area with their energetic boyness. “Paint my nails!” they howl. “Do my toes, too!”
“After I’m accomplished with my very own,” I say patiently. They hover with a hulking presence regardless of their small sizes. My oldest goes first.
He at all times picks the identical shade: gold, which he says is like dragon claws. He sits on the closed rest room. I sit on the sting of the bathtub and swipe polish throughout his tiny fingers.
The newborn needs no matter his oldest brother has, however my center son contemplates the nail polish cupboard. Generally he needs his favourite shade, black. Infrequently, he picks pink. However largely, he picks his favourite: blue sparkles.
My four-year-old finally ends up with blue-sparkled fingers and toes. He collects sparkly polish, the truth is, and chooses it as a reward when he is accomplished one thing notably good. He is cautious to let his nails dry earlier than he touches something. And if it chips, he is again, begging for a repair.
My son is not a princess boy. I do not suppose he is homosexual, no matter homosexual would imply in a four-year-old, however I am completely satisfied he likes to have his nails painted, and happier nonetheless that he chooses sparkles. It is unconventional. It is also superior.
Listed here are 7 causes I strongly encourage my sons to put on sparkly nail polish:
1. He is asserting his self-identity
My son is not letting society inform him how he needs to be. When he picks out sparkly polish, he makes his personal option to be on the planet. This sturdy self-identity will serve him properly later in life when peer stress units in and when the each day grind pressures him to evolve. He’ll at all times be the boy who wore sparkly polish to the playground, and who was utterly his personal particular person.
2. He is doing what he likes
He likes to have his fingers and toenails painted. He likes to have them painted with sparkles as a result of he likes sparkles. He is not letting an more and more gendered baby tradition dictate his likes and dislikes. Sparkles make him completely satisfied. Not as a result of they appear like dragon claws, or as a result of they’re for princesses; he likes sparkles themselves.
3. He is exercising his bodily integrity
His physique is his personal. He has the appropriate to resolve, inside cause, what occurs to it. He has determined that he needs his physique adorned with sparkly nail polish. That call places him in command of his physique.
This is a vital lesson for young children to study. Nobody has the appropriate to do issues to them with out their consent. It is a constructing block to stopping rape and sexual abuse. In a small means, respecting his determination to have sparkly nails helps him develop a way of bodily autonomy.
4. He is bucking gender norms
Except you are Trent Reznor, nail polish is just for ladies. Having sparkly nails lets him query these norms. He rises above the gender dichotomy youngsters are force-fed, and makes his personal selections.
This units the stage for him to query all types of concepts, from what kind of garments to put on, to how you can deal with ladies, to what ladies are able to. This nail polish is yet another means we will present him to query outdated gender norms, it doesn’t matter what society thinks of it.
5. He is aware of that adults aren’t at all times proper
Older members of the family have expressed their discontent together with his nail polish. We have needed to guarantee him that it is great and that he can put on no matter he needs. Already he is studying that adults aren’t the omnipotent gods we faux to be.
Adults can disagree; households can disagree. We are able to disagree with that member of the family and nonetheless get alongside collectively. I hope he remembers these classes when he will get older and the problem is not sparkles, however piercings or profession selections.
6. He is aware of we settle for the alternatives he makes for his physique
Not solely does this promote bodily autonomy, but it surely additionally promotes bodily acceptance. When he requested for sparkly polish at Goal, I did not inform him to choose one thing else. When he wished it on his nails, I picked up the bottle and began portray.
His father and I revered his proper to make selections about his physique. We accepted him for who he’s and what he needs, though he is aware of I desire when he picks black polish. I hope he remembers this acceptance as time goes on, and that it continues to play a serious function in our relationship.
7. He can open up about peer stress
I by no means wished to punch a five-year-old till some little miss Priss informed him that nail polish is just for ladies. He was so upset. We talked awhile about peer stress, how folks might be downright flawed, how some folks do not share the identical concepts we have now, and that he would not must please everybody.
We requested him if he favored his nail polish, and he stated sure. We defined that is all that issues. We by no means heard about it once more.
We all know that not everybody would select to let their boys put on nail polish, but it surely’s been a optimistic a part of our son’s life. He is gotten all kinds of advantages, aside from the sparkles. I am completely satisfied he chooses his sparkles and never simply because it makes him completely satisfied. It is serving to him be a greater particular person. And in the long run, that is what parenting is all about.
Elizabeth Broadbent is a author and common contributor to Scary Mommy. Her work has appeared on At present Present Dad and mom, Babble, xoJane, Mamapedia, and Time Journal Concepts.
