Ask a narcissist if they’re reliable and they’ll say, “I’m essentially the most accountable particular person you understand, you possibly can all the time depend on me.” And they are often. However when the rubber meets the highway (an outdated saying about being put to the take a look at), narcissists appear to wiggle out of accountability.
Why? Narcissists will gladly be answerable for the issues they deem worthy, particularly when it offers a possibility to be the focal point. Nevertheless, when others place accountability on the narcissist, the narcissist sees this as an try to regulate them.
This violates one among their private mantras: nobody can have energy over them. So that they escape from all legal responsibility. How? Through the use of these narcissistic ways.
Listed here are 7 bullying and intimidation ways narcissists use to keep away from accountability.
1. Intimidation/blame
The narcissist begins by bullying the particular person endeavoring to carry them accountable. Steadily, they resort to name-calling and belittling to say dominance over the opposite particular person.
As soon as a subordinate place has been established, they blame the particular person for making an attempt to make the narcissist look lower than superior.
2. Accusing/projection
To avoid any accountability, the narcissist preempts the assault by accusing one other particular person.
Often, they decide an excessively accountable, co-dependent one who idolizes the narcissist. Then, the narcissist tasks the issues they’re answerable for onto the opposite particular person. Thus, escaping earlier than the assault.
3. Arguing/exhausting
That is the best tactic with nice speedy outcomes. When confronted, the narcissist picks one small element and argues it to the umpteenth diploma. If the opposite particular person argues again, they decide one other tiny level and persistently put on down their opponent.
Exhausted, annoyed, and aggravated, the opposite particular person provides up holding the narcissist liable.
4. Denying/rewriting
A method of avoiding accountability is for the narcissist to disclaim they’ve any. Even when the merchandise is written down, the narcissist will make excuses and rewrite historical past.
Steadily, they take the sufferer function by saying they have been pressured into being held accountable when, in reality, they willingly did so. This tactic usually leaves the opposite particular person questioning themselves and their reminiscence.
5. Diversion/attacking
This methodology begins with an outburst over one thing very insignificant. Then, the narcissist exaggerates the purpose to incite the opposite particular person and draw their consideration away from what actually is occurring.
Every time the narcissist is fueling a small fireplace, it’s to maintain the main focus off the inferno someplace else. The diversion is completed to empty sources, vitality, and time so the narcissist can assault when the opposite particular person is weak.
6. Concern/avoidance
Narcissists have the power to take an individual’s small worry and switch it into paranoia. Their charisma is put to harmful use as they weave a plausible story with an intense dreadful end result.
As soon as the opposite particular person is frightened, the narcissist makes use of the opposite particular person’s terror as justification for avoiding accountability. They usually cite that the opposite particular person is reactionary and due to this fact any requests from the opposite particular person ought to be discounted.
7. Rescuing/retreating
This tactic is essentially the most manipulative of the bunch. First, the narcissist rescues the opposite particular person from a dreadful state of affairs. Having gained the opposite particular person’s loyalty, the narcissist waits. Finally, the opposite particular person confronts the narcissist a couple of lack of accountability, after which the narcissist retreats.
The withholding of affection/consideration/time is so dramatic that the opposite particular person turns into horrified and assumes accountability in order that the narcissist will return. As soon as secured, the narcissist then accuses the opposite particular person of not appreciating the rescue. The opposite particular person feels unhealthy and succumbs to the desires of the narcissist even additional.
Whereas this text was written with narcissists in thoughts, a number of different persona problems use a few these ways as nicely. Anti-social (sociopaths and psychopaths), histrionic, borderline, obsessive-compulsive, paranoid, and passive-aggressive persona problems all make the most of parts of those strategies as nicely.
Christine Hammond, LMHC, NCC is a psychological well being influencer, visitor speaker, and creator of the award-winning “The Exhausted Girl’s Handbook” and greater than 500 articles. Her work has been featured in Psych Central and Midland Each day Information.
This text was initially printed at Psych Central. Reprinted with permission from the creator.
