Within the early years of my relationship life, I believed I knew precisely what I wished, and I used to be certain I used to be going to get it: a captivating, great-looking, well-built man who dressed effectively, made loads of cash, and drove me round to good locations in a pleasant automobile. He’d have been a little bit of a foul boy in his not-so-distant previous, however as soon as he met me, he would fall so exhausting that he would not a lot as solid a look at the rest in a skirt, eternally treating me just like the queen he may see I used to be.
Intent on this imaginative and prescient, I summarily rejected any man who did not measure up, whether or not or not it’s the way in which he dressed, the automobile he drove, or every other variety of superficial causes. In spite of everything, I used to be going for the fairytale; I did not wish to waste any time.
It took me too a few years and too many rocky, failed relationships to lastly work out the issue is that it’s a fairytale. It seems all of those superficial issues do not matter one bit so far as love is anxious. Happily, I lastly figured this out earlier than my actual Prince Charming pulled up in his ten-year-old Jeep Wrangler to take me out on our first date.
Just some years earlier, the sight of his automobile would have precipitated me to spend the primary half-hour desperately attempting to think about methods to finish the date early. However for the primary time in my life, I noticed issues in another way. Perhaps it was as a result of I had matured; perhaps it was as a result of I had lastly realized the reality; or, perhaps it was as a result of I may see that he was a extremely good man, it doesn’t matter what he drove. No matter it was, it felt proper.
Trying again, with the advantage of hindsight, I understand that many issues made me understand that I would discovered one of many good guys.
Listed below are 7 tiny methods I knew with 100% certainty my man was husband materials:
1. He was grounded
Whereas a wild and loopy “dwell quick, die younger” sort of man may appear thrilling and oh-so-romantic, marriage lasts a very long time, and being with somebody who’s sensible and grounded could make that very long time a lot much less traumatic and rather more nice.
2. He was dependable
Whereas the flashy, charming, unhealthy boys had been actually thrilling when their consideration was on me, it was not practically as thrilling once they would disappear for days on finish and not using a hint, solely to pop up once more anticipating to choose up proper the place they left off. This man known as me when he stated he would let me know what his plans had been, and answered the cellphone after I would name him!
3. We wished the identical issues in life
We each wished children and after I instructed him that I wished to be a stay-at-home mother, he did not hesitate to agree. He wished the identical sort of long-term stability I wished, the type that’s provided by a lifelong marriage.
4. He was open-minded and versatile
Being sensible and grounded does not need to imply that you just additionally need to be inflexible, uncompromising, or boring. He preferred to have plans (and nonetheless does) however confirmed me early on that he was versatile sufficient to alter these plans if we wished to, and he additionally had a wholesome measure of spontaneity.
5. He was trustworthy
Within the 12 months and a half we had been relationship (and ever since), he was by no means as soon as dishonest with me. Belief has by no means been a query in our relationship.
6. He was romantic
From fires on the seashore to shock CDs with probably the most romantic songs to sending flowers “simply because,” he is all the time proven me his romantic facet. Even in our busy, hectic household life, he nonetheless surprises me with love notes or flowers every so often.
7. He bought higher wanting on a regular basis
Whereas I actually thought he was cute the primary time he walked throughout the room to say good day, I discovered that as I bought to know him extra, my attraction to him bought stronger and stronger. It nonetheless does.
Almost twelve years later, I knew I used to be proper. He is without doubt one of the good guys. And now he is my finest good friend … and in spite of everything is claimed and accomplished, I miss that outdated Jeep Wrangler.
Jane Garapick is a relationship and relationship coach, writer, and founding father of Attending to True Love. She gives inspiration, assist, and empowerment to ladies on their journey to seek out real love.
