They name us nags.
We’re too ahead, or too loud. They are saying we’re not ladylike. That we should always shut up and sit down. And we needs to be content material with what we have got — what else do we would like, anyway? They are saying we’re making an attempt to be males. They are saying we hate males.
However we are saying we’re sturdy girls, and so they can go to hell.
The web glorifies sturdy girls whereas slut-shaming out the opposite facet of its mouth. That is as a result of sturdy feminist girls are threatening. We do issues in another way: We problem outdated concepts. We mess with accepted paradigms. We’re completely different, and we’re not afraid to flaunt it. That is what makes us who we’re.
RELATED: 10 Texts You Ought to By no means Ship To Your Man (Like, Ever)
Listed here are 8 issues sturdy, feminist girls do approach in another way:
1. We do not settle for just one life path as genuine
Rosie the Riveter glorifies girls within the workforce. So do many strains of feminism, which argue that ladies should discover success in working outdoors the house. Sturdy feminists know that ladies can discover success in plenty of locations, not simply in paid work.
Alternative means simply that: selection. And selection signifies that some girls will determine to remain dwelling and handle their youngsters. Some will keep dwelling and handle their cats. Some will write poetry that can by no means see the sunshine of day. Sturdy feminist girls settle for these all as legitimate life selections.
2. We do not presume youngsters as a given
Some folks are supposed to be mommies. Some folks aren’t. Sturdy feminists regard child-free selection as an genuine technique of residing. We do not see youngsters as the one technique of success, nor can we see them as a essential a part of life.
We do not ask questions like, “When are you going to have a child?” or “Do not you suppose not having children is egocentric?” Nor do we glance down on girls who get actually into the procreation factor. All of them are selections. All of them are legitimate.
3. We imagine within the variety of the feminine physique
Sturdy feminists know that magnificence is available in all sizes and styles, in all colours and ethnicities. We do not purchase into the Barbie doll aesthetic, and we do not disgrace girls with the stereotypical “excellent” physique.
Sturdy, feminist girls do not fats disgrace, and so they do not look down on stretch marks or police whose physique earns them the “proper” to put on a bikini. We settle for postpartum our bodies and do not push new mothers to lose the newborn weight. We honor the great thing about all our bodies.
4. We embrace bodily autonomy
Sturdy, feminist girls know that their physique is their very own, and so they have the correct to say the way it’s touched, used, and adorned. Sturdy feminist mamas are those telling their youngsters they’ve the correct to refuse hugs and letting the children determine find out how to reduce their hair.
Sturdy, feminist girls step out of compelled kisses and awkward, creepy hugs. When sexual harassment occurs, we report it. We all know that nobody has the correct to the touch us with out our consent, and that features our companions. We do not owe intercourse to anybody.
5. We perceive one individual’s politeness is one other individual’s oppression
Some girls like having the door held for them. Some girls really feel it is a touch upon their energy and place on this planet. Neither one is improper, and we acknowledge that there is house for all of those emotions.
6. We’re politically conscious
We take an lively curiosity in politics. Whereas most girls fall on the liberal finish of the spectrum, we all know that selections are private. There isn’t any one litmus check for feminism. We all know our political selections will affect others, so we’re conscious and knowledgeable.
A powerful feminist is aware of that with nice energy comes nice accountability. We imagine in an obligation to be politically lively — on the very least, to vote.
7. We imagine in private selection
So long as your selections are yours, and so they’re private and knowledgeable and make you categorical your self in the way in which that makes you probably the most YOU, they are a feminist act. A hijab or a nun’s behavior is as feminist as a shaved head, an updo, or a badass weave.
You’re the arbiter of what is proper and good for you — not your dad and mom, not society, not the web, and never your associate. That signifies that one girl’s feminism would possibly look lots completely different from one other’s. That is a part of what makes us so superior.
Associated Tales From YourTango:
8. We hold out the poisonous
We acknowledge that disgrace, doubt, and guilt are the normal weapons used in opposition to girls, and resist utilizing them in opposition to ourselves and others. Meaning we do not let ourselves be guilted into acts solely to please others (our dad and mom, our companions).
We acknowledge poisonous relationships: relationships that strip us of our company, make us really feel small, or run on disgrace, doubt, and guilt. Sturdy feminists work arduous at breaking out of these relationships and changing them with new, wholesome ones.
This stuff aren’t simple. Working towards them takes time and nobody’s excellent at it. However the actual mark of a robust feminist is that she retains making an attempt, retains striving, and retains working each for herself and her little nook of the world.
Elizabeth Broadbent is a author and common contributor to Scary Mommy. Her work has appeared on In the present day Present Dad and mom, Babble, xoJane, Mamapedia, and Time Journal Concepts.