After a person was pressured to overlook work to take care of his daughter on a day that his ex-wife had custody of her, he determined to cost her $100 to ship her the message that she must be extra organized and ready.
His ex disagreed and believed paying the person for watching his youngster was ridiculous. Nevertheless, he argues that it’s not concerning the cash, however the precept.
The person charged his ex $100 after he needed to babysit his personal youngster on his ex’s custody day and needed to miss work.
Sharing his story to the subreddit, r/AmITheA–gap, the daddy revealed that he and his ex have been cut up up for 3 years. They share a five-year-old daughter named Sumara and have a strong custody association in place.
In keeping with the person, he abides by the set custody schedule. “Personally, I’ve by no means missed something, by no means been late. I adhere to the settlement to the tee,” he wrote. “I be sure every thing else in my life will agree with our settlement as a result of I do know that is what’s finest for Sumara.”
Picture: Freeograph / Shutterstock
Sadly, he can not say the identical about his ex. “She’s by no means been a really organized individual and after our breakup, it appears to me like her life has been much more raveled since I am now not round to bear that load.”
A few weeks in the past earlier than the person left for work, he acquired a name from his ex telling him to select up Sumara since she needed to go to work and each her mom and sister, one in all whom often takes care of the little lady, had a household emergency. “Apparently, her grandfather fell the night time earlier than and needed to go to the hospital so her Mother went to see him, and since she does not drive her sister additionally needed to go (Mother and sister dwell in the identical home),” the person wrote.
He claims that that is the third incident previously yr his ex has relied on him final minute to observe Sumara on what was imagined to be one in all her custody days. He argues that her plan to have her mom and sister as her youngster caretakers whereas she goes to work is impractical since her mom doesn’t drive and so they dwell in the identical home.
“We talked about this the final two occasions and I clearly defined to her she must determine this out,” the person wrote.
The primary two occasions he needed to retrieve his daughter final minute labored out since he didn’t have work on the times his ex requested him to observe her. After double-checking together with his ex that no person else might take the lady, he known as his boss to tell him that he couldn’t make it to work.
“I known as my boss and defined the state of affairs and he mentioned it was cool, however he jogged my memory that I am a brand new worker so I did not have any paid day off, and that basically, it does not look good for brand spanking new staff to call-off final minute,” the person shared. “I mentioned I understood and picked up my daughter.”
When his ex got here later within the day to select up Sumara, the person determined to cost her $100 to make up for a number of the cash he misplaced that day since he couldn’t work, and to hopefully push her to arrange a greater childcare backup plan on her custody days. “I perceive it was an emergency, however that is your fault for not having a correct backup,” he instructed his ex.
He additionally identified that he has to pay youngster assist, together with childcare prices, to his ex when she has custody of their daughter, and he or she must be prepared to do the identical for him. Though, his ex felt in another way.
“She began screaming and mentioned she’s not going to pay me to observe my very own daughter,” the person wrote. “She known as me a bit of s–t for attempting to capitalize on her household emergency.” Nonetheless, the daddy says he held his floor and picked up his $100 from his ex.
Picture: Antonio Guillen / Shutterstock
“It isn’t even concerning the cash it was about sending the message that she’s not being a accountable mother or father and he or she must face harsher penalties attributable to her lack of preparation,” he claimed, including that his ex’s grandfather recovered from his accidents and is doing effectively.
Though different Redditors have been not sure in the event that they have been going to agree with the daddy at first, they believed he made legitimate factors and praised him for his resolution.
They agreed that the person’s ex ought to have been higher ready within the occasion of an emergency and that her job was not superior to his, contemplating it was her day to take care of their daughter.
“That is 100% right… you made a wonderful level. Subsequent time simply inform her no. She should be the one to overlook work,” one consumer commented. “If the state of affairs was reversed I can promise you she wouldn’t have dealt with in addition to you probably did, placing your youngster first.”
“Her work is just not extra vital than yours,” one other consumer shared. “In the event you had had a time off and there was an emergency on her facet, certain. However you’re each in the identical state of affairs besides it’s HER week.”
“She wants backup care to correctly present the extent of childcare you’re already helping in paying for. Stuff occurs, however when the identical stuff repeatedly occurs, she wants to determine a brand new system that doesn’t jeopardize your job,” one other consumer identified.
Nevertheless, others argued that the lady couldn’t assist if there was a household emergency and her backup childcare plans fell by means of and the person mustn’t have demanded cash from her when she picked her their daughter.
“Grandpa was within the hospital, youngster care fell by means of, that occurs,” one consumer wrote. “Your choices have been to inform her you weren’t accessible and he or she’d need to take the time off work. Or to inform her upfront, I can take the time off work, however I would like you to reimburse me $100. Don’t invoice her after the very fact.”
“Having a baby doesn’t all the time completely align with the court docket order. Generally it’s important to go above and past,” one other consumer famous. “I’m going to guess mother has main custody and does the majority of the day-to-day work in elevating the kid. Taking a time off to assist in a household emergency isn’t like a loopy state of affairs.”
Megan Quinn is a author at YourTango who covers leisure and information, self, love, and relationships.
