A father confronted heavy criticism after a letter he penned to his daughter’s ex-boyfriend was shared on social media.
Photographs of the letter had been shared by Twitter consumer Isaac Robert, who claimed that one in all his oldest mates had damaged up together with his highschool girlfriend over ten years in the past, and within the mail someday, his spouse of seven years discovered a notice addressed to him. “Simply…cease what you are doing and browse…” Robert captioned the picture.
A father wrote a letter to his daughter’s highschool boyfriend and berated him for taking away her virginity.
The letter, written by an overzealous father who’s a bit too involved about his daughter’s sexual actions, was titled, “Demand For Restitution For Stealing My Daughter’s Honor,” and featured his anger over his daughter having misplaced her virginity to her highschool boyfriend.
“It has been practically ten years since I realized that you just stole my daughter’s virginity. Initially, it was my intention to forgive you,” the unnamed father wrote. “However after I confronted you about it and also you expressed repentance, I later realized that you’ve since gone and accomplished the identical to others.”
He continued, saying that regardless of working towards the act of forgiveness by means of his faith of Christianity, he can not discover it in his coronary heart to “forgive” his daughter’s ex-boyfriend. “For a quick pleasure, you perpetually took from me the chic pleasure of giving my pure, virgin daughter away in marriage to her chosen husband.”
There are a lot of issues mistaken with this letter, however for a father to assume this closely and sometimes about his daughter’s sexual actions and previous is simply scratching the floor of the detrimental purity tradition that appears to solely hurt ladies.
His daughter’s physique is her personal, who she chooses to be with intimately, and the way usually she chooses to do it, is nobody’s enterprise however her personal. As mother and father, their solely job is to verify they’re instructing their youngsters the right methods to remain secure, as a substitute of policing their our bodies and pondering they’ve any kind of possession over their daughters.
Many Twitter customers expressed the identical ideas, criticizing this father for not realizing the variety of boundaries he’d simply crossed by sending that letter. “It’s exhausting to not really feel dangerous for the creator. He’s mourning the lack of one thing that was by no means his from the most typical exercise within the historical past of humanity. He was at all times going to lose,” one consumer sarcastically identified.
One other consumer added, “Males who attempt to management their daughters’ our bodies and the faith that informs these beliefs are so bizarre and gross.”
The purity tradition on younger ladies has nothing however damaging implications.
The fitting-wing purity motion in opposition to ladies hurts everybody concerned and solely continues to show ladies that their morals and worth lie in how usually they’ve intercourse, and who they’ve it with. Fathers just like the one who despatched that letter are spreading a tradition that ladies are nothing however their our bodies.
In purity tradition, each girls and boys are taught that having intercourse earlier than marriage is frowned upon, however it appears younger ladies are the one ones who reap the implications.
Based on Vice, author Linda Kay Klein noticed and cited consultants who discovered that many ladies who develop up in purity tradition and finally start having intercourse report experiencing an involuntary bodily tightening of the vagina — also called vaginismus — that’s linked to a concern of penetrative intercourse.
“Suppression, the years of holding themselves in and down, finally impacts them bodily,” Klein defined.
Males by no means expertise the identical quantity of judgment for participating in consensual sexual actions, however ladies who’ve intercourse are handled because the scum beneath a shoe and placed on blast for his or her ethical values. As an alternative, males are labeled as “studs,” and “gamers,” and are given a clap on the again for what number of ladies they’ll get of their beds.
Sadly, we’re all dwelling in a society that closely fetishizes the social assemble of virginity, however whether or not or not a lady is sexually “pure” or not should not dictate what sort of individual she is or how clever, form, or loving they’re.
Nia Tipton is a Brooklyn-based leisure, information, and life-style author whose work delves into modern-day points and experiences.
