As I hunched over my telephone, fingers swiping throughout the display screen, I could not assist however take inventory of my less-than-glamorous apparel. The well-worn black sweatpants clung comfortably to my legs, their light colour bearing witness to numerous days of toddler-induced chaos. My toes had been adorned in a pair of mismatched socks, each a testomony to the elusive nature of laundry day.
I used to be draped within the mushy folds of an outsized graphic tee that bore the splattered remnants of my toddler’s lunchtime escapades. The telltale marks of applesauce adorned my shirt, a badge of honor from earlier makes an attempt at a meal. Whereas scrolling by means of the curated moments of others’ lives, a quiet ache settled in my chest.
My gaze lingered on a single {photograph}. There amidst the curated scenes of home bliss, she appeared. The lady who had as soon as been considered one of my closest confidantes, cradling a tiny miracle in her arms. A pang of feeling insignificant brushed towards my coronary heart accompanied by the fragile contact of a fading connection.
I keep in mind after we shared every part with one another from sunup to sunset. We by no means needed to get vital information or snapshots of our lives from our social media accounts.
The poignant verses of Selena Gomez’s soul-stirring ballad, “Individuals You Know,” seeped from the corners of my thoughts, including a soundtrack to this second of realization. The lyrics, imbued with a bittersweet melody, painted a portrait of fleeting connections and the ever-evolving nature of relationships.
We was once shut, however individuals can go
From individuals you recognize to individuals you do not
And what hurts probably the most is individuals can go
From individuals you recognize to individuals you do not
To My Pricey Pal,
I recall a time after we had been inseparable, our bond unbreakable.
From the primary gentle of daybreak to the final whispers of evening, we shared each element of our lives. There was no must rely solely on social media for updates or snapshots; we had been one another’s dwelling diaries.
Now we barely textual content. We by no means speak on the telephone now, and we have not seen one another because you grew to become a mother for the primary time.
I usually marvel, was it if you grew to become a mother or our struggles with despair that distanced us? Your post-partum blues mixed with my battle with life’s challenges whereas elevating three youngsters solo — did they modify us?
I perceive, really. The trail to motherhood is a winding one, and I launched into it a decade earlier than you probably did. I’ve felt the load of all of it — the fragile dance of tending to little ones, nurturing your loved ones, honoring your personal wants, and sustaining a profession, all whereas striving to maintain a vibrant social life afloat. It is a symphony of obligations, one that always appears unattainable to conduct flawlessly.
Motherhood is not any stroll within the park.
Hmm. I believe that will make a cool graphic tee. Maybe I will seek for it on Etsy. Who is aware of, perhaps the vendor will probably be a fellow mama, navigating the ups and downs of motherhood, and attempting to make ends meet whereas feeling the gap develop with previous pals.
However this is the factor, no mother has all of it discovered. We’re not meant to. We’re studying as we go, discovering our method by means of the attractive chaos of motherhood every day. And that, my pricey buddy, is completely okay. I hope you recognize that.
I miss you. Do you miss me too?
I ponder if, deep down, that heartstring of our friendship nonetheless quietly thrums, even within the face of change. Our shared historical past, the laughter that echoed by means of the years, and the battles we weathered collectively — they’re the threads that wove our story.
Possibly, in recognizing our particular person struggles, we are able to discover our method again to the center of our enduring friendship.
Or maybe what as soon as was can by no means be totally revived. If that is the case, I genuinely want you all of the happiness and success that life has in retailer for you, even when I am now not part of your world to share in it.
Octavia Ever After is a flexible author, designer and digital artist. She loves weaving tales and visuals that captivate hearts and minds. She’s had articles featured in YourTango, Yvon Lux, The Trendy Girl, and Medium.