On July 15, 2023, singer Bebe Rexha posted a screenshot of a textual content message from her now-ex-boyfriend, Keyan Safyari, sparking a wide-ranging dialog overlaying the matters of intimacy, privateness, and physique shaming.
Followers are rallying behind Bebe Rexha’s ex, Keyan Safyari, after she shared a textual content from him telling her she gained weight.
Rexha and Safyari started relationship in 2020. Safyari, 39, is a Los Angeles-born producer, director, and cinematographer. But it seems that their romance has come to an abrupt finish after Rexha made a personal textual content he’d despatched her into public data.
The response to Rexha’s submit isn’t shifting within the path that the 33-year-old singer probably anticipated it will. Her determination to publicize a dialog between herself and Safyari as regards to her weight achieve has made her the main target of intense criticism from followers.
Safyari apparently informed Rexha she’d gained weight, after she requested him to inform her if she’d gained weight. The textual content from Safyari learn, “I by no means stated you weren’t stunning and I by no means stated I didn’t love you. In reality, I stated how stunning you’re and the way a lot I cherished you. However I at all times stated I’d be sincere with you and your face was altering so I informed you it was… that was the dialog we had been having and also you requested.”
It’s possible Rexha believed that Safyari was fat-shaming her, which is why she shared his textual content. Whereas nobody, except for Safyari himself, can definitively say what his intent was, it appears pretty obvious that he gave an sincere but loving reply to a fragile query.
Many followers are defending the way in which Safyari answered Rexha’s query, believing that it was an instance of open and accountable communication.
The difficulty of accountability was raised in a tweet from Alex Clark, who requested, “What’s fallacious with this textual content? Sounds completely sincere and respectful whereas additionally holding her accountable!”
Safyari made it clear that he cherished Rexha and thought she was stunning, but his message nonetheless appeared to include facets of the problematic discourse that surrounds weight achieve.
“As a result of I care, would you quite I lied to you? You gained 35 kilos, clearly you gained weight and your face adjustments? Ought to I simply faux it didn’t occur and that it’s OK?” he requested. In questioning if he ought to have, in his personal phrases, “pretended” her weight achieve didn’t occur, “and that it’s OK,” it seems to border gaining weight as one thing that’s not okay.
The truth is, gaining weight isn’t fallacious or shameful — and it truly is okay. A part of being human is having a physique. A part of having a physique is accepting that our physicality will change all through our lives.
In an interview with Jennifer Hudson from Could 2023, Rexha addressed gaining weight. She defined that she obtained a diagnoses of Polycystic Ovary Syndrome, or PCOS, which frequently contributes to weight achieve in girls.
Different components of Safyari’s textual content revealed that Rexha appears to really feel insecure about gaining weight, and in consequence, she projected these insecurities onto him.
Within the textual content, he wrote, “Come on, I achieve 3 kilos and also you name me ‘chubbs’ and ‘fats.’ Doesn’t imply you don’t love me. In case you’re looking for causes to interrupt up this is smart… but it surely’s not the actual purpose. In case you’re sad with me/your self/with life and don’t see a future with us then that’s OK and that’s the rationale. Don’t use one thing like that to weaponize your anger or nervousness or any insecurity you could have.”
Safyari reiterated that he cherished Rexha, and beneficial that she interact in self-reflective work with a view to heal.
“ I’ve at all times discovered you to be stunning and cherished you it doesn’t matter what,” he wrote. “I feel it’s essential for you to consider issues and write issues down, converse to a therapist and do that retreat factor to get to the basis of the issue. Let me know in case you’d like to talk, in case you want extra readability. Love you.”
It’s potential Rexha interpreted Safyari’s feedback on her weight as insensitive, or merciless, or poisonous, and that’s why she selected to make them public. But the truth of the scenario seems to be extra complicated than that.
Evidently Rexha’s notion of her personal self-worth hinges on thinness, which is a dangerous but overarching societal narrative, one which’s not simple to interrupt free from.
One fan, who spoke on to Rexha in an Instagram remark, defined why sharing Safyari’s textual content was the fallacious transfer to make. The fan wrote, “Bebe, love you as an artist, however what you probably did was low as an individual. That was a personal dialog between the 2 of you! The world didn’t must know that, as he wasn’t being violent or threatening in the direction of you. He was sincere and loving and [sometimes] that comes with harsh truths.”
Safyari’s textual content to Rexha is an element of a bigger cultural dialog that’s laborious to untangle. But one fact stays clear: Gaining weight doesn’t inherently make somebody unlovable or undesirable, it doesn’t matter what society desires us to suppose.
Alexandra Blogier is a author on YourTango’s information and leisure workforce. She covers superstar gossip, popular culture evaluation and all issues to do with the leisure business.
