A lady is being accused of overstepping after making a choice about her stepdaughter’s hair with out consulting the younger lady’s dad and mom.
Posting to the subreddit “r/AmItheA–hole” (AITA) — a discussion board the place customers attempt to determine in the event that they had been flawed or not in an argument — the stepmom defined that her 11-year-old stepdaughter has stunning hair, however is sick of getting to handle it.
She pressured her stepdaughter to chop off her hair due to how excessive upkeep she felt it was.
In her Reddit submit, she shared that she and her stepdaughter have at all times had a detailed relationship since she first met the little lady’s father eight years in the past and had been married to him for six years.
“I work at home so I primarily find yourself taking good care of her. I’ve since she was younger. We’ve a typically good relationship. She stays at her mom’s most weekends,” she wrote. Whereas she largely enjoys caring for her stepdaughter, it is having to consistently do her hair that has confirmed an issue.
Her stepdaughter has lengthy, wavy blonde hair which frequently will get tangled, and she or he typically wants to assist her get it brushed and styled earlier than she heads off to highschool. The 31-year-old lady careworn that she’s not a morning particular person, and would not wish to rise up to must do a baby’s hair.
Picture: Roman Samborskyi / Shutterstock
“It’s costly to take care of as she requires extra merchandise, she insists on utilizing hair oils which might value round $11 and solely final a couple of weeks. She additionally insists she has to make use of curly hair shampoo as an alternative of normal shampoo and conditioner which is usually over $10 per bottle.”
The lady additionally seen that her stepdaughter had began changing into “obsessed” along with her hair, and fearing that the 11-year-old would turn into “useless,” she determined that it was time for her hair to be reduce. “I don’t see it as an enormous deal as I’ve at all times had shoulder size hair as my hair doesn’t develop very quick and I get frequent trims. It’s much more sensible.”
Her stepdaughter was distraught when she came upon that her hair was going to be reduce.
After deciding the way forward for her stepdaughter’s hair, the lady took her to the hair salon for what the stepdaughter assumed was simply going to be a daily trim appointment. She made certain to inform her stepmother that she did not need too many inches reduce off, as she loved having her lengthy hair.
“I politely defined that I would really like her to chop her hair to shoulder size because it has turn out to be a burden,” she continued. Instantly listening to the information, the younger lady burst into tears and saved it up even when she bought to the salon’s chair.
At first, the stylist refused to chop the lady’s hair due to how a lot she was crying, however the lady’s stepmother instructed her to disregard her and reduce it. “In the long run, the stylist agreed and reduce her hair. The stylist braided her hair [and] then reduce it. She saved it. Her hair was now simply previous shoulder size, and regarded quite a bit darker.”
On the automotive trip residence, the lady’s stepdaughter was silent, understandably upset about her haircut. Once they bought residence, she went straight to her room and refused to come back out.
Picture: Gorgev / Shutterstock
The younger lady’s father was offended after discovering out what had occurred.
When the lady’s husband returned residence from work, he discovered his daughter sitting on her mattress whereas holding the hair that had been reduce earlier and sobbing uncontrollably. “My husband instantly referred to as her mom to come back and acquire her, and as quickly as my stepdaughter was out the door, he began yelling. Her mom additionally got here in and gave me a mouthful,” she recalled.
She tried to clarify the rationale why she took her stepdaughter to get her haircut, however the younger lady’s father was not listening to it. He argued that if she had a problem along with her hair, she ought to’ve come to him and spoken about it.
“He was so livid he mentioned he now not trusts me round his daughter and doesn’t know if he might be with a lady who he doesn’t belief along with her. This broke my coronary heart.”
She acknowledged that she did not imply to harm her stepdaughter, however was extremely drained and wired about how lengthy her hair had gotten. “I’ve at all times been the one to lift her and her brother and I’m simply exhausted.”
Individuals agreed that she was within the flawed for taking away her stepdaughter’s selection.
The submit brought on debate amongst customers about stepparents overstepping boundaries, particularly in blended households the place there may be multiple grownup ready of authority.
“How DARE you chop her hair and take away her autonomy simply because you may have determined she is useless?” one Reddit consumer wrote. “I’m severely confused that you just even must ask whether or not or not this was an a-hole factor to do. Disgrace on you, severely.”
One other consumer added, “You probably did this with out the kid’s dad and mom’ information or consent. You probably did it with out the kid’s consent… If the routine was inflicting issues for you, you must have talked to your husband. Not arbitrarily determined that you just bought to decide on her hair size.”
A 3rd consumer chimed in, “It is her physique, not yours. Her hair is wholesome, she is aware of find out how to care about it. It is not prefer it was broken or she wasn’t taking good care of it… It sounds such as you simply wished to do what was simple for you, not taking her emotions [into] account.”
Maybe the stepmother did take issues a bit too far and may have thought of how each her stepdaughter and husband felt earlier than reacting. Sooner or later, hopefully she is extra cognizant about making such drastic adjustments earlier than excited about all events concerned.
Nia Tipton is a Chicago-based leisure, information, and life-style author whose work delves into modern-day points and experiences.
