Opening up a monogamous relationship is a fragile course of. For a longtime couple to make such a drastic change to their relationship, all events concerned have to be enthusiastic in regards to the transition. In any other case, they may find yourself with an identical destiny to 1 couple on Reddit who discovered themselves at odds.
A girl revealed what occurred after her fiance requested an open relationship.
In a since-deleted put up initially posted to the Reddit discussion board r/relationship_advice and reposted to TikTok, a girl sought recommendation on whether or not wanted to finish her 4-year relationship together with her fiance.
The lady defined that after her fiance discovered about what number of ladies his pal had slept with earlier than getting engaged, he turned fixated on opening their relationship. Although “disgusted by the thought,” the girl agreed after her fiance had “a significant meltdown.”
Only a word — if you have to have a tantrum with the intention to coerce your associate into an open relationship, you’re already not off to an awesome begin.
It seems that the girl was truly fairly good at choosing up guys, hooking up with a formidable 42 males in a single 12 months. Her fiance, nevertheless, solely had “two actually unhealthy hookups from apps.” She wrote that he threw one other match after discovering out that his girlfriend had skilled extra success in her sexual endeavors than he had. Based on the put up, he stored repeating “You’ve got slept with 20 occasions the quantity I’ve? 20 TIMES?”
The lady wrote in her put up that though she had loved her time seeing different individuals, she had by no means been fascinated by an open relationship within the first place and would have been prepared to cease at any time.
When she steered that they return to being an unique couple, her fiance refused.
As an alternative, he needed to impose a pathetic rule: that she must “take a break till he bought to 10,” after which she might “exit and meet somebody new each 5 new ladies he sleeps with.” The lady wrote that she discovered this “ridiculous.”
“A part of the enjoyable of this was the independence and never checking in. Now he actually needs me to maintain a log after which when he hits like an achievement then I can do my factor. How shifty is that? And in all honesty, I do not desire a relationship the place we now have to match numbers, not to mention f–okay different individuals. I desire a regular life with youngsters and a home and canine.”
The Reddit person requested if there was any hope for her relationship or if she ought to simply “reduce her losses and transfer on.” Unsurprisingly, the feedback have been brimming with individuals begging her to interrupt up together with her terrible fiance. The highest touch upon the put up, which racked up hundreds of upvotes, merely instructed her to maneuver on. They later edited their remark to elaborate: “Discover a man who values you and respects you. These males exist. Don’t waste your life, future, and feelings on immature idiots.”
In an replace to her put up, the girl found simply how immature, misogynistic, and abusive her fiance actually was.
The lady’s fiance had a terrifying response to discovering out about her Reddit put up. He initially didn’t consider her when she instructed him they wanted to interrupt up. He was truly shocked, though he had reportedly spent hours calling her “all types of gendered slurs” — for some cause, he thought she was going to apologize to him!
When the girl tried to depart his home, he tried to dam her and even grabbed her arm till she threatened to name the police. He additionally punched her automotive window a number of occasions as she left, then referred to as and texted her dozens of occasions as she drove house.
It’s a reduction to know that the girl who made the preliminary Reddit put up was in a position to escape from her massively insecure fiance. Let this put up function a reminder — in case you’re ever in a scenario the place your associate is attempting to emotionally manipulate you into an open relationship, it’s virtually definitely not going to finish effectively and you need to actually take into consideration leaving.
Jessica Bracken is a author residing in Davis, California. She covers leisure and information for YourTango.
