Increasingly more ceaselessly, individuals are turning to the 9 persona varieties related to the Enneagram of Character for perception into the psychology behind their persona traits, private fashion, and character, and the way these elements of themselves impression each sphere of their love life and private {and professional} relationships.
Most of us have a fairly good sense of our personal persona, after all… up to a degree.
Ask somebody in the event that they contemplate themselves to be an introvert or an extrovert and it is unlikely they may take a look at you with a baffled expression. It is extra probably they may let you know that they know they’re an extrovert as a result of they love going to events, or they know they’re an introvert as a result of they want loads of time to themselves with a view to recharge and really feel their finest.
Some individuals take their curiosity additional.
After I was in faculty, I took a course referred to as Theories of Character. As a part of that class, we needed to take the Myers-Briggs Kind Indicator. You have most likely seen variations of that fashionable check everywhere in the web, and also you would possibly even know which a type of 16 persona varieties you align with. (I am an INFP since we’re swapping tales.)
Different individuals do not take into consideration their personalities a lot in any respect, besides maybe, for clicking on the odd persona check or two once they’re bored and browsing the Web.
And in the case of these, the Enneagram of Character check is likely one of the most fascinating round. This rubric divides individuals’s tendencies and traits into 9 distinct varieties. As you may think, I’ve taken all kinds of persona checks, and the outcomes and corresponding descriptions on the Enneagram largely precisely mirror who I truly am.
To study what your individual Enneagram persona kind is, you possibly can take this quiz.
As soon as you’ve got finished that, scroll all the way down to see how the persona traits related together with your Enneagram kind secretly mess together with your love life and relationships in methods you’ve got by no means begun to know.
That may sound bleak at first, however determining the way you’re most probably to go incorrect would possibly simply be precisely what you want with a view to have extra romantic success than ever earlier than!
Right here is how the persona traits of your Enneagram kind secretly mess together with your love life:
1. The reformer
You’re a rational idealist. You could have ideas you reside by and also you purpose for perfection in all of the issues that you simply undertake. It is a nice option to be whenever you’re making an attempt to realize objectives at work or attain a health milestone, however it’s not at all times conducive to success in love.
In case you are a reformer, your inflexibility is what messes together with your love life most.
You could have an inventory of “necessities” a mile lengthy, and whereas it is good to have requirements, generally your excessive want for particular sorts of perfection retains you from connecting with somebody who’s fairly darn superb, even when they do not tick off each single certainly one of your containers.
2. The helper
You’re a caring one who thrives in the case of interpersonal relationships. You are beneficiant and loving and making individuals comfortable makes you even happier. It is superior to present so many individuals you are all, and who can shake a finger at somebody as variety as you’re? That mentioned, you are not an individual fully with out flaws.
In case you are a helper, your possessive nature could possibly be maintaining you from lasting love.
Simply since you give your all to the individuals you’re keen on, that does not imply they don’t seem to be entitled to have their very own lives. Attempt your finest to keep in mind that independence is wholesome and regular in relationships, and simply because your love has a life outdoors of you, that does not imply they do not need and want you in there alongside the best way, too!
3. The achiever
You’re a one who is motivated by success. You’re a born planner, and whilst you’ve at all times acquired an end-game in sight, one other certainly one of your strengths is the best way you adapt shortly within the face of the surprising. Your capacity to maintain your eye on the prize and excel in your chosen discipline is admirable. Nonetheless, generally even essentially the most targeted particular person can miss out on one thing proper in entrance of their face.
In case you are an achiever, your tendency to focus in your picture may maintain you from connecting on a deeper degree with somebody you’re keen on.
You are able to nice depth, however appearances imply quite a bit to you, and that is one thing you are going to battle with. Bear in mind when selecting a accomplice that it actually would not matter how they appear in a tailor-made swimsuit if you cannot join with them on an intimate degree.
4. The individualist
You’re a one who feels issues keenly. You possibly can’t assist it, it is simply the way you’re wired. To that finish, spending outing and about with individuals may be difficult for you, however that is solely as a result of you have got such a robust sense of who you’re.
Sadly, a part of being an individual who’s so certain of themselves and so simply exhausted by the corporate of others is that nurturing romantic relationships over the long run could cause you a very good quantity of strife when you do not proceed fastidiously.
In case you are an individualist, you should work as arduous as you possibly can to maintain your tendency for introspection from stopping you from ever wanting outward.
While you aren’t being cautious, you possibly can come throughout as self-absorbed and as somebody who solely enjoys their very own firm. The truth that you are moody would not assist both! We each know you are superior. Now let different individuals realize it, too.
5. The investigator
You’re a one who is very curious and tutorial. This does not imply that you need to be a professor at some fancy faculty, however it does imply that you’re a one who spends your life in pursuit of information and solutions. Along with being curious and bookish, you’re at all times in search of methods to enhance the lives of the individuals round you. Nonetheless, that does not imply you have got every little thing found out simply but.
In case you are an investigator, your obsession with buying data can imply that you simply spend a variety of time by yourself.
If you happen to do not discover ways to steadiness your social life together with your quest for data, you threat lacking out on all the finest issues love has to supply in a critical manner.
6. The loyalist
You’re the form of particular person everybody round you turns to when they should really feel secure. You are most likely the “mother” of your good friend group, and this does not trouble you in any respect. You are taking it as a praise. Being buddies with you means having somebody who’s at all times (you guessed it) loyal and supportive. You are accountable and have most likely been advised you are an outdated soul greater than as soon as in your life. However wait… there is a hitch.
In case you are a loyalist, it is the flip facet of being accountable and dedicated is that that is precisely what can even trigger you essentially the most ache in love.
You possibly can’t assist however be a little bit bit anxious, suspicious, and overly protecting of the one that is the fortunate object of your affection. Bear in mind to present your accomplice loads of fact and loads of respiratory room if you’d like your like to flourish.
7. The fanatic
You’re the form of particular person finest described as “enjoyable on a bun.” You’re laid-back! You’re easygoing! You are at all times up for an journey! You are the form of one who different individuals need to be round, they simply can not help themselves.
You are the grasp of doing issues on the fly and also you’re at all times recreation to attempt one thing new. Nothing is out of your consolation zone, since you HAVE no consolation zone. You are simply that versatile as a human being… Which is not at all times preferrred.
In case you are an fanatic, you are typically a bit too simply distracted in just about each single sphere of your life.
If you happen to do not ensure to make your accomplice area to really feel heard and like the middle of your consideration no less than from time to time, they may up and go away you to your perceived lack of romantic devotion.
8. The challenger
You’re a one who may be summed up in a single phrase — highly effective. Principally, nothing else must be mentioned, however I will, as a result of highly effective individuals should know extra about themselves, too. You are an alpha. You converse your thoughts. You are normally essentially the most dominant particular person in each room that you simply enter. Individuals look as much as you due to your confidence and your confident nature. Nonetheless, being as robust as you’re is not at all times a mattress of roses.
In case you are a challenger, you’re a type of uncommon birds who is not afraid to talk their thoughts, and whereas that is superior, it could actually result in confrontation.
You are an aggressive particular person, and never everybody else is constructed to speak this manner. Watch out with the way you have interaction together with your romantic accomplice or your no-nonsense strategy to battle would possibly trigger them to take shelter with somebody who’s no less than a little bit bit extra mild.
9. The peacemaker
You’re the form of particular person hippies imply once they speak about somebody who “goes with the movement.” You are easy-going and humble. Individuals love speaking to you as a result of they get to speak about themselves! You are not one to placed on an enormous present concerning your individual accomplishments.
You’re receptive and agreeable to different individuals’s concepts. Nobody ought to look to you to decide about which film or restaurant to go to, since you’re positive with no matter everybody else desires.
The flip facet to your easy-going methods is that the peacemaker can generally be too darn complacent.
It is positive to waft, however getting caught in a rut is one thing else fully. If you happen to do not focus by yourself desires and desires and opinions you possibly can frustrate anybody who’s making an attempt to construct a relationship with you. An individual can solely hear, “It is as much as you!” so many occasions earlier than throwing their arms within the air and leaving to seek out somebody who truly appears to care about one thing.
Rebecca Jane Stokes is an editor, freelance author, former Senior Workers Author for YourTango, and the previous Senior Editor of Pop Tradition at Newsweek. Her bylines have appeared in Fatherly, Gizmodo, Yahoo Life, Jezebel, Condo Remedy, Bustle, Cosmopolitan, SheKnows, and lots of others.
