Texting? It is greater than that. Sexting? Not precisely. Welcome to flirtexting — the “candy nothings” of the digital world.
Emoticons. Acronyms. Hashtags. In an effort to sustain with our evolving digital tradition, we have invented loads of new methods to speak — and the language of affection is not any completely different.
Studying learn how to flirt over textual content together with your vital different is without doubt one of the greatest methods to remain linked all through the day, and it can be one of many sexiest and most inventive.
Actually, flirtexting, as we wish to name it, is virtually an artwork kind, and anybody could be a Van Gogh.
We requested digital relationship and flirting skilled Laurie Davis, writer of Love At First Click on, to clarify what precisely flirtexting is, learn how to grasp it, and the way it’s completely different from common flirting.
What’s flirtexting?
Flirtexting goes past simply the standard “Hello” or “Goodbye” texts. In keeping with Davis, “It is extra than simply dialog; it is greater than planning. It is getting the ‘spark’ going — digitally.”
For those who’re new to flirtexting, begin with candy, easy messages earlier than leaping into extra sexually charged texts. You need to check the waters earlier than sending one thing too racy. Letting him understand how a lot you liked cuddling with him final evening and sharing a fantasy for the primary time are two very completely different sorts of texts.
Is not that the identical as sexting?
No, as a result of sexting is extra risqué. Flirtexting is a “here is what I need to do to you later” with a flirtatious wink. Sexting, then again, has come to be related to philandering politicians and shady skilled athletes. In different phrases, not attractive.
What can flirtexting do for a relationship?
Texting for no different cause than to flirt is basically foreplay. It is a gradual construct — and that is thrilling!
Davis says, “Most [people] will test in with their associate and make plans through textual content, however sending a little bit flirty textual content message — whether or not it is to allow them to know you are considering of them or to remind them of one thing you are particularly trying ahead to — provides an entire new aspect to your relationship while you’re not collectively.”
If you have not had the aspect of shock in your relationship as of late, candy digital “nothings” all through the day could be simply that sudden one thing the 2 of you crave. It is lots like sorting by means of a mailbox filled with payments to find a candy, handwritten letter that was despatched “simply because.”
How do you have to “converse”? Ought to emoticons, acronyms or footage be used?
“Emoticons are nice while you’re flirtexting,” says Davis, “however simply sending a wink is not gonna do it.” For those who’re not sure of what to put in writing, attempt a brief romantic poem, like a haiku. In any case, when was the final time you wrote or acquired a haiku from somebody? Candy and sudden? Examine and test.
Additionally, attempt to keep away from acronyms. There’s a spot in your OMGs and your LMAOs, and it is in a textual content to your gal pal, not in an attractive textual content to your important squeeze!
It is undoubtedly a good suggestion to ship photographs whereas flirtexting. Davis offers this nice instance: “My fiancé and I weren’t collectively on our six-month anniversary. He went to the place we had our first date and took an image of the pizza we had eaten collectively. Pictures, and even Vine movies, are a extremely cute option to flirtext, particularly in the event you’re not collectively for the following 24 or 48 hours.”
How a lot is an excessive amount of?
When flirtexting occurs day by day on the identical time with the very same message, or while you two say the identical issues again and again, you’re defeating the aim: spontaneity. Swap issues up — maybe ship tune lyrics that you just each love or a photograph of a park you promise you may take your associate to this weekend.
“The good factor about flirtexting is that you just by no means know when it’ll occur,” says Davis. “If it occurs day by day and turns into a part of your routine, it does not really feel like flirtexting anymore as a result of it does not have that aspect of shock that makes you glow.”
Davis advises to concentrate to the way in which your associate is responding. In particular person, it is by his physique language; through textual content message, it’s kind of extra ambiguous. You form of must belief your intestine, waft, and attempt to “learn between the traces.”
For those who suppose you’re overdoing it, you most likely are. At that time, take a step again and benefit from the unstated, flirtatious dynamic you’ve got created collectively.
Sam H. Escobar is the Deputy Director at Attract Journal.
