
Think about you are the villain in a nationally televised dishonest scandal through which your wrongdoing is devoid of any ethical grey space. You are a pariah, a laughingstock, and even your mustache and nail polish have grow to be nationwide information.
Now think about you need to go on tv and talk about your wrongdoing. Would you be contrite, or would you sit there and make vile, misogynistic, deliberately merciless remarks mocking the particular person you harm?
Most of us would select the previous — or not less than be quiet completely — however for those who’re “Vanderpump Guidelines” star Tom Sandoval, you select the latter.
Tom Sandoval mocked his ex Ariana Madix for being insecure about her physique, making a disgusting remark in the course of the ‘Vanderpump Guidelines’ reunion.
Sandoval’s feedback on the third a part of the “Vanderpump Guidelines” reunion to his now ex-girlfriend Ariana Madix reveal his lack of even essentially the most primary widespread decency, however additionally they reveal one thing deeper: the depths of his narcissism.
Almost everybody who’s ever dated has had the misfortune of crossing paths with a somebody like Sandoval at one time or one other — somebody completely devoid of empathy and so completely satisfied of his personal perfection that he cannot even compute the cruelty of his actions, not to mention that others will not high-five him for committing them.
Sandoval made enjoyable of Madix for sporting a t-shirt throughout intercourse whereas he was dishonest on her along with her greatest pal Raquel Leviss.
There have been tons of bombshells within the “Vanderpump Guidelines” reunion’s remaining installment, however none of them had fairly the influence of Sandoval’s one-sentence remark a few t-shirt. The remark got here throughout a dialogue of whether or not Sandoval had been intimate with anybody else throughout his affair with co-star Raquel Leviss, one of the best pal of his now ex-girlfriend of 9 years, Ariana Madix.
When Madix identified that Sandoval was, in truth, sleeping with another person along with Leviss — Madix herself — Sandoval viciously mocked her.
“Yeah, she stored her t-shirt on, it was actually scorching,” Sandoval mentioned, blowing the minds of everybody onstage beside him, even the forged mates who had been as soon as his allies.
Sandoval’s t-shirt insult to Ariana is extra than simply unkind. It is vicious in a approach that almost each girl—and loads of males— has skilled at one time or one other.
Having intercourse with somebody is inherently susceptible — that is a part of what makes it thrilling within the first place. However intercourse additionally feeds into insecurities which are almost common—nearly all of us, at one time or one other, have felt insecure about our our bodies.
Few of us have our bodies which are acceptable by the “requirements” of our tradition. For the overwhelming majority of us, the form of bodily perfection idealized in all the pieces from media to folks’s relationship profiles is unattainable, even for TV stars like Ariana Madix whose look adheres to usually accepted magnificence requirements.
As a result of that is the factor about magnificence requirements, is not it? Irrespective of how good you look, there’s all the time somebody who seems higher, who’s thought of extra excellent and extra acceptable. No one evades this example, however given the methods ladies’s our bodies and sexualities are commodified in our society, tradition, and media, this nightmare is on an entire different degree for ladies.
So it is under no circumstances stunning that even somebody like Madix would really feel susceptible sufficient in her personal pores and skin on occasion that she’d wish to have intercourse with a shirt on. Neither is it stunning that ladies everywhere in the web have expressed comparable experiences, and have been outraged and revolted by Sandoval’s feedback on her behalf.
Tom Sandoval’s t-shirt insult made the backlash in opposition to him worse, and reveals who he actually is.
There are few of us who’ve by no means, at one time or one other, discovered ourselves in an intimate state of affairs feeling nervous about how we glance. To mock somebody for this near-universal expertise is merciless on its face, and you do not must be a girl to know that — you simply must be a human being with a functioning mind and coronary heart.
However to take action within the context of getting cheated in your companion along with her greatest pal is vicious on an entire different degree.
Is it actually stunning that Madix would not really feel snug bearing all to Sandoval given the entire disregard he has proven for her dignity and emotions? If something, her reluctance to be bare in entrance of a person she’s been with for 9 years reveals how little she trusted him — an intuition we now know was completely appropriate.
And but, Sandoval’s takeaway from that is that she ought to really feel disgrace for having intercourse along with her shirt on. His response is to go on nationwide tv and suggest that she’s so boring, she drove him to cheat on her along with her greatest pal after 9 years?
Forgive me, however there may be merely no approach to get to the purpose with out meting out with professionalism completely: What an a-hole.
Sandoval appeared to be caught without warning that all the remainder of the forged was nauseated and infuriated by his feedback as an alternative of cheering him. And it exhibits the depths of his narcissism and the way little he grasps the ideas of compassion.
Perhaps that is a part of why, even after all of the drama she was keen to endure to be with him, Raquel Leviss, who has been receiving psychological well being therapy at an inpatient facility, has allegedly damaged up with Sandoval in latest weeks. It could have simply been the neatest resolution Leviss has made because the “Scandoval” affair began.
As for Ariana Madix, she is capitalizing on the repulsive remark with new merch: A $34.99 t-shirt of her personal offered in her and co-star Katie Maloney’s One thing About Her Store that includes an illustrated model of herself ripping aside a grilled cheese sandwich. The phrases on the shirt say “F— Me in This Shirt.”
John Sundholm is a information and leisure author who covers popular culture, social justice and human curiosity matters.