Phobia (n): a persistent, irrational concern of a particular object, exercise, or scenario that results in a compelling want to keep away from it.
Most of us have phobias of some type. For some folks, the sight of a freckle-sized spider will ship them right into a panic. Others choose to climb 15 flights of stairs relatively than step foot on an elevator (these folks most positively have a greater butt than you).
These are comparatively regular fears that for probably the most half do not actually intrude with on a regular basis life. And certain, whereas I might relatively not be in the identical room as a spider and do not notably love heights, there are solely two issues that I am actually, irrationally afraid of: One is having ANYTHING overlaying my face (primarily, my nostril). The second? Spit — seeing different folks spit, having my very own spit land on me, drool on the pillow, ALL OF IT.
Yeah, Micki, that is bizarre and all however like… are these issues actually that a lot of an inconvenience? Is having your nostril out on a regular basis really an issue? Is not spit a comparatively straightforward factor to keep away from?
The reply to all the above is sure, these fears are an inconvenience and sure, they do trigger an issue. As a result of you realize what else blocks your nostril and places you on a crash course with spit regularly? Kissing. French kissing, particularly.
I. Hate. French. Kissing.
There’s completely nothing worse to me than having somebody’s face heading straight for mine with the only real objective of constructing it unattainable for me to breathe whereas concurrently placing his spit in my mouth.
Initially, do you know that the mouth is residence to over 700 sorts of micro organism? Or that each time you swap saliva with somebody, you additionally swap 80 million (MILLION) germs? Because of this each time you lock lips with the one you’re keen on, you are growing your danger of getting the flu, mono, strep throat, and meningitis, simply to call just a few.
Romantic AF.
That is true, Micki. However there are such a lot of different issues we do to get sick, and kissing is an effective way to point out affection. It is definitely worth the danger.
Noble level. However there are additionally so many different issues you possibly can do to get spit throughout your face (severely, infants do it on a regular basis) and you do not go round doing that, now do you?
As an instance you actually simply do not give a single crap that another person’s germy, sticky saliva is about to wreck your day. How do you get previous the truth that for nonetheless lengthy you undergo the tortuous act we name French kissing, you actually cannot breathe? Your life is totally in another person’s arms (nicely, mouth). And also you’re simply, like… okay with that?
Pay attention, I perceive that not everybody has an unexplainable concern of blocked airways. And hey, for those who do occur to cease respiratory throughout a kiss, you are within the excellent place to get some CPR.
However we have to discuss dangerous breath. What if the particular person you are kissing simply went in on some Taco Bell? Otherwise you each had just a few drinks (or fifteen) and did not cease to brush your enamel earlier than heading to mattress? Or somebody burps!?
You are proper, Micki. These issues all suck. So then how do you present affection?
Superb, you caught me. I have been identified to kiss a man or two (thousand). However now you realize what goes by means of my head the entire time.
Reality is, as soon as I am in a relationship, the variety of French kisses drastically diminishes. And it has positively induced some issues, as kissing is a vital technique to present somebody that you simply’re interested in them.
So to all my future flings, boyfriends, life companions: I such as you, I swear! I simply actually, actually do not wish to kiss you.
Micki Spollen is a YourTango editor and leisure information author. She additionally runs the journey weblog The place In The World Is My Drink.
