By Laura Lifshitz
I’m the proud mama of an solely youngster who simply occurs to be a daughter. After I was pregnant along with her, I wished a daughter so badly. When the ultrasound tech introduced, “It is a woman!” I cried tears of pleasure.
After enduring hyperemesis gravidarum, I wasn’t so positive I’d have a child once more, and I do know as a lady that daughters stick to the household for all times. I could not wait to have my princess with me.
And to this point, being a momma to slightly woman has been superb. She’s sturdy, sensible, inventive, and so sassy, and I really like each second I’m privileged to be her mommy. The mother-daughter bond, particularly after her dad and I separated, has been greater than I might have hoped for.
With that mentioned, although, there are some days I want I had the expertise of getting slightly man round and marvel what it could be prefer to have a son.
This is why I’d moderately have a son:
1. Everybody loves a mommy’s boy.
After I taught preschool, I had a bunch of little boys who liked me and some who wished to marry me. Guess what, guys? I am single now! (Simply kidding!)
The love and affection of boys to each myself and their moms was so valuable. Because the fourth youngster in a household of all women, I had by no means witnessed the mother-son bond earlier than, and I needed to admit it was cute.
When my daughter hit shut to three, she turned an enthusiastic Daddy’s woman true to Freudian “Electra complicated” style after being a Mommy’s woman, and I have to admit I miss that point! I’ve to marvel what it may be prefer to have a “Momma’s boy” — and never an grownup Momma’s boy however slightly man.
2. The perspective subject is approach much less with boys.
The perspective a mother will get from her daughter can vary from Chilly Struggle, arctic chilly to scorching sassy spicy scorching!
In fact, this is the reason we love our daughters to some extent: they’re sensible sufficient to query issues, verbalize their opinions, and struggle for the issues they imagine in, even when they’re issues like shopping for the 50 millionth My Little Pony collectible figurines. A woman is a robust being who wants nurturing to develop into a powerful lady.
Nonetheless, once I see my associates with their laid-back sons, I form of want for a couple of hours I might have rather less ‘tude and slightly extra, “Positive, Mommy. No matter you say.”
3. You do not have to move on the hardships of life as a lady.
I do know we’ve the proper to vote amongst many different issues, however girls nonetheless have an extended technique to go. I do know my daughter will face points primarily based on her seems, sexuality, or gender, and there isn’t any approach I can cease these items from taking place. As an alternative, I can put together her on easy methods to deal with herself in addition to mistreatment from others.
As a lady, I’ve been belittled, objectified, ignored, shamed, after which some, and to suppose that sooner or later my daughter might face the identical obstacles upsets me. I can solely hope that because the years go by, issues proceed to enhance for all of womankind — and humankind.
If I had a son, I’d nonetheless fear about bullies, predators, molesters, and so forth., however not on the identical degree that I do with a woman.
If I had a son, I would not marvel if folks would concentrate on his seems and never his smarts.
If I had a son, I would not fear that his first girlfriend would attempt to strain him into being intimate.
Maybe none of those emotions are correct or true. Possibly I’d nonetheless fear. I do know boys are incessantly the victims of abuse and assault, however there’s something about being a mother to slightly woman that feels a bit scarier.
There’s something interesting concerning the thought of feeling slightly safer a few son out within the scary world than a daughter.
4. Much less time determining easy methods to do hair kinds.
It is a fashion battle currently within the rest room over what to do or not do with my daughter’s hair. I do know many individuals develop boys’ hair out moderately lengthy right this moment, however how good would it not be if all I needed to say had been, “Simply brush your hair please,” and name it a wrap?
The fashion requests or avoidances (“Do not do my hair!”) have me typically questioning if I ought to bust the buzzer and shave her head, however after all, I would not!
5. Discovering and introducing a brand new man to a son is simpler than a daughter.
Any divorced or single mother goes to fret about courting a brand new associate, whether or not it is a new associate for her and her sons or her and her daughters. Nonetheless, as a single mother searching for the proper man, I discover it significantly regarding {that a} new man could be in my daughter’s life.
A woman seems to the lads round her as she grows up after which typically chooses companions similar to them. I can’t deliver simply anybody into her life. Any man concerned with me is actually a template for her future associate.
As a lady who has suffered from shallowness points, I understand how essential this template is.
Had I had a son, I’d nonetheless be anxious and anxious, however with a brand new man in my daughter’s life, I fear about her security on an entire different degree. For this reason taking courting slowly after divorce is so necessary to me.
When it comes right down to it, I really feel blessed to be the mom of a woman, and I’m positive had I had a boy, I’d have felt the identical approach. Individuals of all genders expertise hardships and harassment. Apart from, every youngster is totally different.
I do know that there’s a massive diploma of variance in each sexes and that not each boy or woman matches some stereotypical gendered class, however typically I ponder what it may be prefer to have slightly Mommy’s boy proper by my aspect.
Within the meantime, I’ll simply need to “undertake” my associates’ sons for the additional hugs and love my little girl to items!
Oh, and study some good comebacks for when she’s a fair sassier teenager — that approach, I will likely be prepared for her. Wink.
Laura Lifshitz is a former MTV character and Columbia College graduate at present writing about divorce, intimacy, girls’s points, health, parenting, and marriage. Her work has been featured on YourTango, New York Occasions, DivorceForce, Girls’s Well being, Working Mom, Pop Sugar, and extra.
This text was initially revealed at PopSugar. Reprinted with permission from the writer.
