“Crimson Sevens! Crimson Sevens!! Come on, Crimson Sevens,” I shouted whereas holding my hand in opposition to the display of the Blazin Sevens slot machine.
“Ooh, too unhealthy,” I stated as the one factor on the middle line have been one seven and some cherries.
No payout on that.
I took one other sip of my free watered-down Seven and Seven. I wish to coordinate my drink with my machine. I fed one other twenty-dollar invoice into the hopper satisfied a giant payout was coming quickly.
My blissful place was the financial institution of $1.00 slot machines at virtually any on line casino. Profitable was incredible, however there’s additionally bizarre satisfaction in dropping. Minutes flip into hours and earlier than you realize it, you’ve wasted cash and hours of your life that might have been higher spent.
Dependancy can flip you right into a egocentric jerk, and that goes double with a playing habit.
You make horrible selections and use individuals, however worst of all, your humanity, empathy, and kindness disappear alongside together with your vanity.
You’ll do virtually something to get your repair.
My playing habit — and sure, that’s what it was — didn’t begin within the traditional manner. I’d been to Las Vegas a few instances and thought the slot machines have been enjoyable however not particularly fascinating.
My obsession was born in a Palm Springs Aqua Caliente On line casino.
I’d been working there for a number of weeks, and at evening there wasn’t a lot to do to unwind.
My pal Larry and I began to go to the Spa On line casino. They’d a smoke-free room and there was nothing I hated greater than sitting at a machine and having to endure a sequence smoker puffing on cigarette and blowing smoke in my face.
Smoking was one of many issues I despised about Las Vegas.
However in a smoke-free room, I might get pleasure from hours of enjoyable, and it was enjoyable, actually enjoyable — so enjoyable that I’d take my Christmas bonus cash and gamble it proper the enjoyable away.
Seventh Heaven was my first slot machine obsession. You’d assume from the identify, the sport could be all about cherubs and angels, however its theme was foolish fruit. Suppose Fruit Loops however with extra character.
The animation of the fruit was very charming, that includes whimsical pears, jolly cherries, and wacky bananas.
After I gained my first jackpot of over $2000 on Seventh Heaven, I used to be, yep you guessed it, in Seventh Heaven.
I created backstories in regards to the animated fruit as I attempted not to consider how badly I wanted to make use of the toilet however didn’t wish to hand over my machine.
There’s no seat-saving in a on line casino, and nothing is extra annoying than getting up from a machine, solely to have it hit massive for the subsequent individual.
When three bananas have been collectively however not lined up, I’d say they have been a dysfunctional household.
I prayed for the bananas to place their variations apart, come collectively, and win me some cash.
Since I seldom received oranges, I deemed them snotty and standoffish. I as soon as stated upon getting grapes that despite the fact that I hadn’t gained, I nonetheless felt as if I had completed one thing that day since they have been so not often seen.
If you find yourself enjoying the identical machine for hours on finish, it’s necessary to train your thoughts in order that your mind doesn’t change into a silly pudding.
After I ended working in Palm Springs, I’d drive to a different local-ish on line casino two hours away, rapidly lose my cash, and are available residence once more in the identical afternoon.
If I went to a on line casino with another person, it felt extra social and fewer determined. Most of my mates didn’t wish to hang around at a on line casino, and Larry had a busy social life.
I wanted to discover a playing buddy.
Enter Ted,
We met at a singles dance. He was instantly smitten, and I used to be not, however I preferred him.
Solely somebody with a plum pit for a coronary heart wouldn’t like him.
He resembled a giant panda bear. He was cuddly, cute, and had a scruffy beard. The darkish circles beneath his eyes got here from working the late shift on the printing plant of an area newspaper.
By our second dance, he couldn’t maintain again and requested me out.
Teddy couldn’t play it cool even when he was standing in a deep freeze.
I didn’t wish to be outright impolite, so I looked for one thing we would have in widespread.
He beloved something with cilantro in it — cilantro tastes like cleaning soap to me.
He was frightened of cats — I can’t dwell with out cats.
Tenting was his favourite factor on this planet — I hadn’t camped since I used to be a Woman Scout.
I inspired him to speak about himself however the extra he stated, the much less I grew to become.
“Considered one of my favourite issues is to go to a on line casino and play the slot machines,” he stated.
Wait, what?
“You’re not into desk video games, simply the slots?” I requested barely capable of comprise my pleasure.
“Yeah, I imply 21 is enjoyable, and poker could be okay, however I don’t know — I just like the slot machines higher. Typically I am going to Cabazon and play via the evening.”
Now I used to be .
The Cabazon on line casino was a couple of 90-minute drive, and despite the fact that I’d by no means gained there, that didn’t imply there wouldn’t be a primary time.
So, on the ninth time he requested me out, I stated “sure” with the caveat that we wouldn’t be going out for dinner or the films, however to Cabazon.
Ted was a brilliant type man who needed to play the slots — I might be taught to like him.
He picked me up in an previous beater of a automotive with no paint job and patchy primer. That was advantageous; I’d by no means decide anybody by the automotive they drove.
“Is it okay if I cease at a test cashing place? I don’t receives a commission till subsequent Friday, and I’d somewhat not get money off my bank card.”
I knew this was a flashing crimson flag, however I used to be going to offer him the good thing about the doubt. Perhaps he’d had an surprising expense come up, and he didn’t wish to break the date as a result of he had no cash.
He’d should pay a price, however he wouldn’t miss our date.
How cute was that?
Okay, not cute, and neither was it cute when after blowing via his cash on the Wheel of Fortune slot machine, he requested if he might borrow some cash from me.
I’d hit a small jackpot, so I cashed out and gave him half of my winnings.
The cash I gave him didn’t final lengthy, and mercifully he knew to not ask me for one more mortgage, so he went off to get a bank card advance.
He will need to have gotten 5 bank card advances, and he both ran out of credit score or his entry was shut off by his financial institution. Inside an hour, he was tapped out, ingesting a soda, and watching me.
“You’re cute if you win and if you lose,” he stated breaking my successful streak.
I didn’t need his unhealthy luck rubbing off me and he was insisting on sticking near my facet. There was no cause to remain any longer.
After asking me for fuel cash, we received into his automotive and made the trek residence.
When parked in entrance of my home, he leaned in and went for a kiss. I moved my head barely and received a giant moist kiss on the upside of my chin.
I didn’t know easy methods to let him down simply, so after the fifth name begging me for one more date, I informed him I had endometriosis (the reality) and that I used to be in an excessive amount of ache thus far (typically true.)
It was over a yr later after I went to a different dance. As I feared he was there, however tired of me as he’d discovered one other lady to be his money machine, I imply, love curiosity.
Though it’s been a few years since I’ve been to a on line casino, I nonetheless get pleasure from enjoying slot machines, however to not the purpose the place I’m in debt or in peril of dropping my home.
I gained’t gamble with my funds or my coronary heart, even for a row of boastful oranges.
The Nationwide Council on Downside Playing operates the Nationwide Downside Playing Helpline Community. The community is a single nationwide entry level to native assets for these looking for assist for a playing downside. The community consists of 28 contact facilities that present assets and referrals for all 50 states and US territories. Assist is out there 24/7 and is 100% confidential. Name 1-800-Gambler.
Christine Schoenwald is a author, performer, and frequent contributor to YourTango. She’s had articles featured in The Los Angeles Instances, Salon, Bustle, Medium, Huffington Submit, Enterprise Insider, and Girl’s Day, amongst many others.
This text was initially revealed at Medium. Reprinted with permission from the writer.
