Dr. Amber Woodburn, LMFT, LP, has surpassed Esther Perel because the nation’s highest-earning marriage counselor, with a reported internet value of over 100 million {dollars}. Primarily based in Tampa, Florida, Woodburn prices as much as $25,000 for a single 45-minute session. She is presently booked 18 months out.
“After I began my follow, I attempted the whole lot I used to be taught at school,” stated Woodburn. “You already know, like giving {couples} instruments to enhance their communication abilities and validating one another’s emotions and training energetic listening and all that jazz. However on the finish of the day, I spotted most {couples} simply needed to know one factor: who is true and who’s fallacious.”
Like many entrepreneurs, Woodburn realized that she would wish to pivot to fulfill shopper demand.
When requested how she determines who is true and fallacious, Woodburn smiled. “If you happen to study one factor in my line of labor,” she stated, “it’s that in 99% of troubled marriages, one companion is persistently being extra of an issue.”
Regardless of the hefty price ticket and a protracted ready checklist, {couples} flock from everywhere in the nation to fulfill with Woodburn, usually after exhausting extra conventional counseling strategies.
Alicia Paz of Tuscon, Arizona, a former shopper of Woodburn’s, had nothing however glowing opinions. “I needed to money out my retirement financial savings, and now I’m a single mother, nevertheless it was all value it simply to see the look on Daniel’s face when Dr. Woodburn advised him he’d been fallacious all these years.”
Paz’s former partner couldn’t be reached for remark.
Kevin Johnson of Reston, Virginia, who’s presently #10 on Woodburn’s in depth waitlist, is, in his phrases, “completely positive” he’s proper. “I simply can’t wait to throw it in my spouse’s face,” he stated, rubbing his arms along with a glance of maniacal glee. Johnson has no plans to divorce his spouse, as he wish to proceed throwing it in her face till loss of life do them half.
“My companion and I attempted many conventional counseling strategies,” stated Laurie Greer of Needham, Massachusetts. “However all of the ‘I’ statements on the planet didn’t change the truth that she is just about fallacious about the whole lot. Perhaps I ought to have left her sooner, however I toughed it out for an additional yr and a half whereas on Dr. Woodburn’s waitlist only for the satisfaction of with the ability to say, ‘I advised you so.’ ”
When requested if she now shuns extra conventional counseling strategies, Woodburn stated, “I believe extra conventional strategies can work wonders if each events come to the desk with humility, empathy, and an open thoughts.”
Sadly, in accordance with Woodburn, “most individuals type of stink. They’re egotistical, insensitive, and close-minded. If I can’t change that, not less than I can make sure that one particular person will stroll away from every session glad.”
Mandy Bowman, a spokesperson for The American Affiliation for Marriage and Household Remedy (AAMFT), admitted that Dr. Woodburn’s strategies are “just a little unorthodox.” However, she stated, “Contemplating the social forces which have led to vital will increase in individuals stinking, this is likely to be a path that extra marriage and household counselors might want to discover transferring ahead.”
Editor’s Be aware: This text is satire.
Kerala Taylor is an award-winning author and co-owner of a worker-owned advertising company. Her weekly tales are devoted to interrupting notions of what it means to be a mom, girl, employee, and spouse. She writes on Medium and has lately launched a Substack publication Mother, Interrupted.
This text was initially printed at Medium. Reprinted with permission from the writer.
