Lengthy-lasting love doesn’t simply occur as a result of the 2 of you’re scorching for one another and get alongside properly. You wish to be on the identical web page in the case of the important issues in life. However how are you aware you’re on the identical web page?
Particularly, how are you aware that you simply share a imaginative and prescient of your future collectively?
In case your present relationship is shifting towards marriage, many questions demand solutions.
You wish to know the way your accomplice thinks about (and spends) cash, how bodily suitable you anticipate to be, and whether or not you wish to begin a household collectively. You will wish to perceive the household dynamic throughout their childhood, their spiritual and religious beliefs, and their relationship historical past.
You will wish to know what they need in life, and the way they wish to spend their time. Most of all, you will wish to make completely positive that regardless of the future holds, you see one another in it collectively — earlier than you get engaged.
That method, when life presents these inevitable challenges and obstacles, you’ll discover consolation within the data that you simply will not should face them alone.
One large, essential query to ask earlier than you get engaged:
What are your targets for the long run?
No, it isn’t humorous or cute or horny, however this one open query will reveal a lot. Primarily, it should enable you perceive the highway forward for those who’re decided to marry this individual.
Nevertheless it additionally would possibly enable you decide that the match won’t be splendid, in any case.
By asking, you will search to find sensible details about your romantic accomplice corresponding to:
- Do you wish to journey the world?
- Are you targeted on having youngsters instantly?
- Are you a private development junkie?
- Are you snug with issues as they’re?
- The place do you see the 2 of you 10 years from now?
- What does your splendid retirement appear to be, and the place?
Your imaginative and prescient of the long run does not should correspond precisely. Apart from, the place’s the enjoyable in that? For a profitable marriage, you don’t should have the identical pursuits in life.
Your accomplice can compete in all of the triathlons they need, when you sit at residence and binge your favourite TV present.
Nonetheless, you’ll wish to be entering into the identical course in life. In any other case, what is the level of spending your life collectively?
You may develop collectively — or develop aside
You may’t develop aside for those who share the identical imaginative and prescient of your life collectively. These are inquiries to ask earlier than getting married that reveal how one can construct a life collectively, as an alternative of rising aside.
For those who don’t deal with these questions earlier than you’re married, you’ll be compelled to handle them afterward. And also you don’t wish to uncover that you’re too totally different to work issues out in the long term.
Associated Tales From YourTango:
Don’t assume that your future partner has the identical imaginative and prescient of marriage as you do.
Ask questions and be curious earlier than getting married — and keep curious after you are hitched! You may work out all of the logistics and day-to-day stuff when you’ve settled into married life collectively.
Orna and Matthew Walters are soulmate coaches who’ve been featured visitor consultants on Bravo’s The Millionaire Matchmaker. They’re the authors of 7 Steps To Soulmating.
This text was initially revealed at Love On Function. Reprinted with permission from the creator.