It is regular in a relationship for folks to combat or argue infrequently, nevertheless it’s additionally nice to know that by utilizing the Enneagram and studying your and your companion’s persona varieties you may keep away from battle and relationship issues in your marriage, too.
In the case of having a wholesome relationship, it is vital to know the place you and your partner’s persona traits may butt heads.
By studying what your Enneagram varieties are, you can higher foresee and even cease potential conflicts earlier than they occur.
Here’s a transient clarification of Enneagram 101
So what precisely is the Enneagram, and simply what can it inform you about your persona? The Enneagram is “a mannequin of the human psyche which is principally understood and taught as a typology of 9 interconnected persona varieties.”
The Enneagram check on the Enneagram Institute web site is a superb device that can assist you have a more healthy relationship together with your partner. Ideally, you each want to make use of this psychological and religious device individually and collectively to get probably the most out of it.
It is on your private improvement and can improve your potential to take care of all of the ups and downs of your married life.
This unbelievable device will level out your blind spots and provide help to to rid your self of outdated habits and ideas that now not serve you and supply you with a map to raised bodily, emotional, and religious well being.
Enneagram varieties and stress
The Enneagram varieties present you the place you might be possible going to have your challenges if you end up below stress. The more healthy you might be emotionally, bodily, and spiritually, the much less you’ll expertise these widespread challenges.
However simply because you’re a particular kind doesn’t suggest that it is an actual predictor of the issues you’ll have. All of it relies on the well being of your three vitality facilities (head, coronary heart, and physique).
Nonetheless, the Enneagram is a superb device that can assist you to know what to be careful for. Your blind spots can seem with out your consciousness once you’re not open and current. With each your dedication to changing into your finest selves, the Enneagram will help you and your partner discover a extra profound love and intimacy than you ever imagined.
In case your partner will not be keen to check the Enneagram, you may guess your spouses’ kind, however you will need to maintain this info evenly. The one one that can decide your kind is you.
In case your partner is open to studying in regards to the Enneagram, this can be a good signal that she or he is decided to remain wholesome. It’s also an indication they’re dedicated to a long-term wholesome relationship.
All Enneagram varieties are neither good nor unhealthy. They’re simply totally different. These are the common qualities of every kind, which can assist you determine the place you and your companion can get out of stability.
Listed here are 9 Enneagram varieties and the potential challenges you and your partner might face in your relationship :
The assertive varieties
Assertive varieties are at excessive danger to overuse or underuse their head middle. They typically are delicate folks and to outlive they put up a giant emotional wall round their hearts. Most assertive varieties should not conscious of this occurring.
1. Enneagram kind 3 (the Achiever)
- Can get overly targeted on their work.
- Discover self-care a problem.
- May be extraordinarily aggressive.
- At all times likes to look good.
- Are keen to vary their habits in order that they are often profitable. Their motto is to do no matter it takes to achieve success.
- May be emotionally indifferent.
- Discover it essential to be appreciated and revered.
- Flourish once they focus their vitality on studying to like themselves and can reveal their weak aspect.
2. Enneagram kind 7 (the Fanatic)
Sevens at all times:
- Look for “greener grass.”
- May be extreme at occasions.
- Typically have a tough time ending what they began.
- Are simply bored.
- Like to have enjoyable.
- Do not wish to concentrate on any difficult points of their lives.
- Have a tough time committing to something.
- Flourish once they danger slowing down and going through the ache, discomfort, and confusion that they attempt to keep away from.
3. Enneagram kind 8 (the Challenger)
- Like to dominate.
- At occasions are aggressive.
- Are confrontational and intimidating.
- Are overly self-sufficient.
- Like to remain answerable for their very own life.
- Can get intoxicated by energy.
- Are like a bull in a china store.
- Flourish once they danger letting go of management, revealing their huge hearts and displaying their weak aspect.
Withdrawn varieties are inclined to over or under-use their physique middle. It’s simple for individuals who determine with these varieties to disregard the wants of their physique. They wrestle to do self-care.
4. Enneagram kind 4 (the Individualist)
- Are extremely emotional and dramatic.
- Simply get caught of their favourite moods. It’s extra a thought than a sense. They typically get their ideas confused with their feelings.
- Are temperamental. It’s simple for the 4 to envy what different folks have.
- Keep caught of their creativeness.
- Look for an individual to rescue them from their unhappiness.
- Flourish once they can categorical their coronary heart via their creativity, via deep friendships, and by studying to simply accept themselves as they’re.
5. Enneagram kind 5: (the Investigator)
- Retreat into their thoughts.
- Are identified for minimizing their wants.
- Have a tough time talking on subjects which can be alien to them.
- May be very secretive.
- May be very exhausting on themselves for not understanding sufficient.
- May be provocative when below stress.
- Flourish once they danger sharing their ideas and concepts with others and take note of their our bodies.
6. Enneagram kind 9: (the Peacemaker)
- Will appease in any respect prices when below stress. Any type of battle can really feel threatening to them.
- May be overly accommodating.
- Like their routines to assist them keep calm.
- May be apathetic and think about the world as if they aren’t a part of it.
- May be cussed when their peace is threatened.
- Underneath-value themselves whereas below stress.
- Flourish once they categorical their pursuits, needs, hopes, and goals, and discover their interior power once they communicate their reality.
The dutiful varieties
Dutiful varieties are inclined to over or under-use their head facilities. All of them endure from an excessive amount of exercise occurring within the mind, making it exhausting to attach with the extra profound knowledge that’s accessible to them.
7. Enneagram kind 1 (the Reformer)
Associated Tales From YourTango:
- Are overly severe a lot of the time.
- Really feel overly answerable for the issues of the world.
- May be overly crucial of self and others.
- Come throughout as judgmental.
- Are perfectionistic or really feel like a failure in the event that they don’t full a job accurately.
- Have a tendency to carry their emotions inside them till they burst.
- Come throughout to many as opinionated.
- Flourish once they study to cool down their interior critic via meditation and discover their interior power when they’re contact with their religious world.
8. Enneagram kind 2 (the Helper)
- Attempt to please others.
- Prefer to tackle the “martyr” function: Will endure themselves to assist others.
- Like to rescue folks, hoping their love for them is reciprocated.
- Search approval and ask for permission from others.
- Put the well-being of others earlier than their very own wants typically ignoring their bodily, religious, and emotional well being.
- Flourish once they can love themselves as a lot as they love others. Twos discover their interior power once they take days off only for themselves.
9. Enneagram kind 6 (the Loyalist)
Sixes at all times:
- Look for safety.
- Really feel answerable for the well-being of these they care about and rely.
- Have a tendency to fret simply escalating into anxiousness.
- Doubt others and query themselves.
- Put together for no matter occurs.
- Have a tendency to be cussed and sarcastic.
- Flourish once they study to belief themselves.
- Discover their interior power via meditation, serving to them to get in contact with the braveness that’s deep inside themselves.
Keep in mind these are the difficult sides of all 9 personalities. Every kind brings forth glorious items. As you each get more healthy in your three vitality facilities, you’ll expertise better happiness in your relationship.
Additionally, it’s good to recollect that there’s nothing incorrect with you. You aren’t faulty. You and your companion don’t want fixing. You do have to study to permit your interior self to shine.
One of the simplest ways to assist your companion is to be wholesome your self. If you are able to do this work collectively, it’s essential learn to talk in compassionate methods to boost points. It is very important let one another know if you end up making progress regardless of how small or huge the development is.
This work ought to by no means be about labeling one other particular person. The Enneagram ought to by no means be used as a weapon. So be beneficiant and type to one another.
Roland Legge is an writer, Licensed Non secular Life Coach, and instructor of the Enneagram. He helps folks connect with their interior selves and discover alignment with their highest function and values.
This text was initially printed at REL Consultants. Reprinted with permission from the writer.