How do folks deal with rejection? How do you take rejection?
Everyone seems to be charming and amicable when issues are going their approach. It’s simple to place in your social masks if you need to please or win over someone.
When the playing cards don’t all the time work in your favor, when you end up on the dropping finish of a deal, when stuff hits the fan, then that’s when the true you comes out.
I all the time be taught extra about folks from how they take care of difficulties or obstacles which can be thrown their approach.
The way in which folks deal with rejection tells me lots about them, and this made me conscious of the truth that the best way I deal with rejection should say lots about me as effectively.
If you’re in contact along with your feelings, you need to have fallen in love with no less than one particular person in your life. If you’re in contact along with your humanness, you need to have had your coronary heart damaged, and you need to have damaged hearts.
Love might be one of many largest, if not a very powerful life lesson as a result of it’s about soul work.
Relationship difficulties, rejection, and heartbreak are painful, however they speed up your private development.
Love reveals you who you actually are in case you are keen to introspect and self-reflect as to what induced the issues within the first place, reasonably than pushing all of the blame onto your companion.
To simplify this, let’s break up the best way varied sorts of individuals deal with rejection into three totally different classes.
This is what sort of particular person you’re, based mostly on the way you deal with rejection:
1. The needy
In my expertise, these individuals are in all probability the worst. You ignore them. They received’t go away you alone. You allow them to down politely with an arbitrary excuse, in order to not damage their emotions. They nonetheless don’t get the trace. Then you definitely inform them the true motive. They suppose that ‘no’ is a code phrase for attempting more durable.
They attempt to change themselves to suit into the ‘excellent’ model of who they suppose you’d admire (as a result of they don’t actually love themselves, they don’t even know themselves.) When that doesn’t work, then they attempt to ‘save’ or ‘repair’ you, as a result of they suppose that if solely you’d perceive the way you’re meant to be collectively, everybody could be pleased. They accept being simply an possibility as a result of they don’t imagine in themselves.
Individuals like which can be secretly hoping that you would be able to fill some magical void inside them, that you would be able to add worth to their life, and that you’re chargeable for their happiness as a result of they will’t appear to present it to themselves. They anticipate an excessive amount of from love, and an excessive amount of from you, and that’s why they’re all the time dissatisfied.
2. The hostile
These individuals are entitled. They suppose that as a result of they’re handsome, have social standing, or make some huge cash, they deserve something that they need.
They’re not used to rejection. They’re used to purchasing and charming their approach into issues that they need. They’re used to instant gratification. They’re accustomed to getting their approach. Their expectations are excessive and infrequently unrealistic as a result of their sense of self is tied to their ego. They need every thing with out being every thing themselves.
When one thing that they need is denied to them, they’re unable to respect the independence of thought. They don’t respect one other particular person’s standpoint as a result of it makes them really feel powerless, it makes them really feel weak. They react angrily, vengefully, passive-aggressively, or placed on a present of hostile indifference. They might achieve success in different areas of their life, however they’re emotionally immature.
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3. The safe
These are the individuals who have wholesome shallowness and self-respect. They don’t base their sense of self-worth on superficial traits reminiscent of social and monetary standing. They’re safe as a result of they’ve a robust basis of values based mostly on ethical integrity, emotional stability, and psychological resilience.
These folks deal with rejection the most effective, and truly make the individuals who reject them doubt themselves, and re-question their determination.
They don’t push and pressurize folks to decide to them. They don’t suppose they’re deserving of ‘particular’ therapy. They don’t cry or persuade somebody to decide to them. They don’t search validation or approval as a result of they’re sufficient for themselves. They’ve labored on discovering and accepting their genuine selves.
Their buttons can’t be pushed simply as a result of they’re conscious of their very own insecurities and weaknesses. If they’ve made a mistake, they apologize and attempt to empathize and work issues out. Really safe folks don’t clarify why they need respect, they continue to be well mannered and go away.
They perceive that somebody’s lack of curiosity in them isn’t all the time a mirrored image of who they’re as an individual. It’s merely a matter of perspective. They don’t pull down the opposite particular person, and so they don’t pull down themselves. They don’t take rejection personally as a result of they know that they’re worthy of affection and respect.
Nikita Mor is a contract author who covers way of life and relationship matters.
This text was initially printed at Thought Catalog. Reprinted with permission from the creator.
