There’s undoubtedly a distinction between somebody saying “Love you” vs. “I really like you” — however what does that distinction imply, and the way a lot does it matter?
Most women and men have been in relationships with the kind of one who, as an alternative of merely with the ability to say, “I really like you,” tosses off a fast, “Love you,” of their communications.
You could be falling in love at this very second with somebody who has this irritating behavior, otherwise you could be somebody who’s executed it your self and desires to determine what, if something, it means.
Variations Between Saying “Love You” and “I Love You”
Some folks imagine dropping the “I” from “I really like you” is a warning signal of an underlying worry of dedication or emotional unavailiability, whereas others suppose it signifies nothing apart from talking in an off-the-cuff method.
The reality is there isn’t a one easy reply to what it means when somebody says, “Love you” relatively than all three little phrases.
Since so many {couples} seem to wrestle with this difficulty which will or is probably not about semantics, I got here up with my very own prime 10 record of potential explanations.
So learn on, give it some thought and also you get to be the choose …
What does it imply when somebody says “Love You” vs. “I really like you”?
1. “Love you” is barely much less formal.
Some folks establish as being an off-the-cuff particular person normally, as a result of that’s how they see themselves. They gown comfortably. They’re looser and extra relaxed than others. They aren’t stuffy they usually don’t stand on customized or formality.
An individual who values these character traits could be extra doubtless to make use of the extra relaxed and fewer stuffy “love you” versus it’s extra formal and conventional various.
That missing “I” is a manifestation of their persona and would not replicate negatively on you.
2. They might be an individual of few phrases.
Some folks worth extra terse communication kinds which are to the purpose. It’s roughly equal to how somebody texts versus how they communicate. When texting, they might be extra financial of their phrase selections and use extra abbreviations, colloquialisms, and universally understood emojis.
Once more, it’s an extension of their private values and preferences, and would not diminish the love they’re expressing.
3. It might be who they’re.
It’s potential some folks specific an abbreviated “love you” as a result of they imagine it is a reflective perception they usually deliberately decrease the bar on expressing it. This implies they might suppose love is probably the most pure factor on the earth, and the extra they specific it, the higher the world would possibly look.
As a love coach, I see this attitude as getting into a form of badass territory within the land of affection. For those who discover somebody like this, that’s a high quality human, a love warrior.
4. Saying “love you” is a bit noncommittal.
Because it’s much less formal, a fast “love you” in passing could be a simple option to bypass the filters and sneak it in with out attracting an excessive amount of consideration and scrutiny. Sort of like testing the waters of dedication.
However, since we get requested concerning the distinction between “love you” and “I really like you” a lot, it’s most likely not fairly as stealthy a way as somebody testing the waters of dedication would possibly suppose.
5. They might be utilizing “love you” as a trial balloon.
A trial balloon is a fast, low-risk approach of gauging responses primarily based on folks’s reactions. Generally, that balloon will float proper on previous with out remark, in order that they comprehend it bought by means of. Different occasions, it could be questioned or outright challenged.
However it doesn’t matter what occurs, you will know the place you stand after the balloon floats free after which it’s as much as you on how you can proceed with their proclamation of affection.
6. “Love you” offers them believable deniability.
The second stage of the trial balloon principle is predicated on the premise that if their alternative of verbiage is challenged resulting from its being unwelcome, the particular person experimenting with the message can at all times fall again on the excuse of believable deniability, which suggests they will say it meant nothing, and even flip issues again round on the questioner for making such a giant deal out of it.
Principally, they will deny the problem solely and drop it again on the lap of the challenger.
7. Saying “love you” as an alternative of “I really like you” might sign somebody who’s simply making an attempt to please you.
Once more, by selecting to supply a random “love you” in passing as an alternative of totally proudly owning the dedicated assertion of “I really like you,” somebody who embodies a pleaser’s vitality can sneak these two phrases into dialog so as to consider how nicely all three phrases would possibly land.
It’s just like a gross sales one who floats a “smooth check shut” by saying like, “If we might deal with that difficulty for you, do you suppose you’d be prepared to purchase?” By utilizing softeners and distancing language, it turns into simpler to bypass different’s defenses.
8. They might like saying “love you” and it is develop into their behavior.
Generally folks adapt language patterns and turns of phrases they’ve heard in passing as a result of they like the way in which it sounds, or the way in which it makes them really feel. It’s form of that entire “imitation is the sincerest type of flattery” idea.
If the phrasing is especially catchy or has a number of makes use of, it will probably typically discover its approach into an individual’s every day or frequent use.
9. It might point out they’ve a barely decrease EQ (emotional intelligence quotient).
Everyone seems to be aware of the IQ as a measure of a person’s intelligence, however their EQ is a measure of emotional intelligence.
In different phrases, individuals who have nice problem utilizing “the L phrase” or different related emotion-based phrases, would possibly want to “drop the I” and go along with a extra distant “love you” as a result of it maintains distance and deniability.
And … Given these 9 earlier prospects, this final one is by far a very powerful to recollect:
10. Nothing — as a result of nothing has any that means apart from the that means you give it.
When making an attempt to determine why folks do what they do, there are various elements to think about earlier than you may precisely gauge. You need to observe an individual for a time frame to normalize their conduct and habits to the person.
That’s as a result of people are a product of their environments, influences, habits, beliefs, requirements, beliefs and extra. One particular person’s “regular” could be very completely different from one other’s so in case you choose too quickly with too little info, you’re nearly actually going to make an incorrect evaluation.
And most significantly, in relation to deciding what issues imply, that’s at all times your job and your job alone.
So watch out, as a result of your selections have penalties. When you choose somebody, it turns into nearly not possible to affect them … or your self.
Dave Elliott is an Worldwide Relationship Skilled whose specialty helps good, superb ladies perceive males higher to allow them to carry out the perfect in males, relatively than struggling by means of the worst from them.
