Can a man nonetheless be “straight” if he sleeps with different males? That is the query on the coronary heart of a person’s put up within the “r/TrueOffMyChest” subReddit, a discussion board for folks to admit one thing weighing on their minds.
By now we have in all probability all heard that sexuality is a spectrum, particularly as our concepts about sexuality and gender id turn out to be ever extra fluid—and science continues to again up the notion, as proven within the video under.
Accordingly, the person’s put up about his intercourse life sparked fairly a debate about what it means to be straight, homosexual, bisexual or in any other case.
A person says he is straight although he has intercourse with different males ‘a few times every week.’
It started as a option to break a “dry spell,” however rapidly escalated to extra. The person says having intercourse with males felt like “shedding my virginity over again,” and he actually preferred it.
Determined to finish his lengthy spell with out a girlfriend or any sexual companions, the man writes that he determined to take issues into his personal arms and increase his search standards on on-line relationship apps.
“I simply needed to have intercourse,” he writes. So he “went on Tinder and adjusted my choice to dudes.” Earlier than lengthy, he had matched with a number of males and “discovered a dude that I felt comfy assembly.”
And whereas it was awkward at first, it rapidly grew to become one thing he was actually into. “It felt like I used to be shedding my virginity over again as a result of it was all new to me and I had no thought what I used to be doing,” he writes, “however I loved it loads.” The expertise “began a development of me having intercourse with dudes,” and shortly it grew to become a daily prevalence.
The person says he is not interested in the lads he has intercourse with, he simply likes having intercourse with them.
He now has intercourse with males on a weekly foundation, however says he does not suppose he is truly into them—no less than, not in the way in which that he is into ladies. And it is made his lengthy “dry spell” in relationship ladies much less of an issue, too. “My dry spell with ladies is now [a] yr,” he writes, “however I do not actually really feel that dangerous anymore as a result of I am having intercourse weekly.”
However regardless of his informal, circumspect angle about the entire thing, he is saved it tightly beneath wraps. “Nobody is aware of about this,” he wrote, including that he by no means brings his male sexual companions again to his home and hasn’t “spoken a phrase about this to anybody.” However he felt like he “simply wanted to inform somebody,” so he posted about it on Reddit.
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Many on-line suppose the person is simply in denial about being homosexual, however others say he is in all probability simply bisexual—and that sexuality is a spectrum anyway.
“I do not suppose you are straight…” one Redditor wrote. “I hate to interrupt it to you however I am fairly certain banging dudes makes you homosexual.” One other person cracked, “Nope… I’ve by no means gone by way of a dry spell and thought I would like to fu-k a man,” however added, “so long as you’re completely satisfied and protected… That is all that issues.”
That kind of simple, black-and-white considering may be the best strategy for us to grasp, nevertheless it does not maintain as much as what we find out about how the sexuality spectrum.
As explored within the video under, in accordance with a 2019 examine, some 40% of heterosexual folks requested stated they might see themselves being interested in the identical intercourse if the correct particular person got here alongside.
One other 25% stated same-sex attraction was “unlikely” however they would not rule it out, whereas one other 10% stated “perhaps.” However of all of the straight folks surveyed, solely 4%—simply 4 in 100!—have been unequivocal that same-sex attraction was an absolute impossibility for them.
Bisexuality is nothing new—and neither is the idea that it simply signifies that somebody is in denial about their homosexuality.
That so many individuals appear open to the thought of bisexuality these days should not come as any shock.
As life coach Denise LaFrance advised us in 2015, the Kinsey Scale, which ranks sexuality from an “completely heterosexual” 0 to an “completely gay” 6, was developed by biologist Alfred Kinsey all the way in which again in 1948, a long time earlier than so-called “different life” have been even remotely acceptable in society.
By the way, Kinsey’s scale additionally included a ranking of ‘X’ for asexuality—a sexual id solely simply starting to be talked about lately.
However regardless of how lengthy we have identified about the truth that sexuality is a spectrum, accusations of denial just like the Redditor’s put up elicited are additionally nothing new. Because the TikToker under explains, folks “[assuming] you are not truly bi” is a part of the territory for bisexual folks, particularly for bisexual males.
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Fortunately, most folks on social media who learn the Redditor’s put up appeared to grasp that bisexuality was actual—and that it actually should not be this huge of a deal to come clean with one’s same-sex proclivities. Even homosexual icon Julie Brown, maybe greatest identified for her position as lesbian gymnasium trainer Ms. Stoeger in “Clueless,” acquired in on the dialog on Twitter.
Here is hoping Brown’s “no matter, simply take pleasure in your self” ethos turns into the default response to folks’s sexuality sooner or later. As one other Redditor plainly put it, “sexuality is a spectrum my dude. Sleep with whomever you wish to, who cares!?”
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John Sundholm is a information and leisure author who covers popular culture, social justice and human curiosity subjects.