My boyfriend, Rob, informed me on our second date that he was falling in love with me.
Did he utter these three little phrases precisely? No, he discovered a loophole, however his intentions have been clear.
He might need stated “I am falling in love with you,” however he was actually saying “I really like you,” as evidenced by the truth that he informed as a lot on our third date.
Earlier than I met Rob I used to be a cliché. I dated males who weren’t ever fairly as into me as I used to be into them. I might fall arduous for them and wait in quiet terror for them to like me again.
It by no means occurred. Not as soon as. The closest I acquired was a person saying “I such as you a lot”.
The humorous half is that sure, whereas I’ve dated an extended string of vacant, nugatory, jerks, I’ve additionally dated some excellent males who I do imagine truly DID love me.
They only could not say it.
To me, the concept that males (or anybody, actually) can have a tough time saying I really like you is type of ridiculous. Individuals say phrases all the time, why get treasured about these three little phrases?
Partly, I feel it is as a result of they are not simply three little phrases to most individuals. Most of us perceive that saying I really like you is horrifying. It is like lifting up your shirt and exhibiting somebody your stomach. Telling somebody you’re keen on them for the primary time is as terrifying and as weak a sense as farting on somebody mid-coitus.
However the danger is at all times price it. At the least, that is how I really feel. Whether or not they love you again or in the event that they go on the uncooked providing of your coronary heart, no less than you have been sincere, not simply with them however with your self. With your individual coronary heart. You have been sincere along with your love.
I’ve at all times questioned what is going on on inside a person’s head when he holds again from saying he loves somebody. So I requested a gaggle of nameless males to share their emotions on the topic.
Males reveal why it is so arduous for them to say “I really like you”
1. I’ve by no means stated it earlier than
“I’ve by no means stated “I really like you” to a lady in that context in my life but. I at all times really feel like I am not prepared but and my longest relationship lasted 8 months.”
2. I’ve nothing to check it too
“I’ve solely informed one lady I really like her in my life. And that was the one lady I ever actually beloved. I had a tough time telling her as a result of I had nothing to essentially evaluate it to. My relationships earlier than that have been actually short-lived and never all too critical on both half. I did not know what love was, what it felt like, or something.”
3. I am scared to
“I keep in mind being scared due to each fling that I had earlier than then when the lady stated she beloved me, and I stated it again we just about broke up a couple of weeks later (enjoyable, school-type relationships). So lastly once I was relationship a lady who I fully fell for stated it to me, I used to be petrified. It took me a while to say it, and fortunately she understood. I principally simply felt out for a couple of weeks about how the connection was going and acquired to some extent the place I actually thought she was ‘the one’ kinda factor. Sadly, we broke up a few years later.”
4. I am nervous
“The one time I have been in a relationship lengthy sufficient the place we actually beloved one another I used to be nervous about saying it, however there ultimately was a degree the place she meant a lot to me that it was extra ridiculous to not say it and to maintain it bubbled.”
5. If you recognize, you recognize
“If there’s something I’ve realized, it is that when you recognize, you recognize. Whether or not that is love, your profession, different relationships, and so forth. If you happen to’re already making an attempt to carry again on saying it, ignore the a part of you saying it is too quickly and simply go for it. I am certain she feels precisely the identical!”
6. Fashionable ladies aren’t into it
“I do not like saying I really like you as a result of modern-day ladies aren’t into these sorts of commitments. Everybody simply needs one-night stands. No relationships anymore.”
7. I am going to say it
“I’ve by no means understood this. Once I know I really like a girl, I inform her I really like her.”
“”I really like you.” What sort of insecure coward is afraid of that type of stuff? It is at all times probably the most “alpha” and “macho” guys who’re most afraid of harnessing emotional intelligence and energy.”
8. Don’t need her to know I am whipped
“I don’t need her to suppose she has me whipped.”
9. It might be lust
“As a result of I don’t wish to confuse the lust I really feel early on in a relationship with one thing like an actual and lasting love.”
10. I do not really feel strongly sufficient
“As somebody who has dated A LOT and at all times struggled with the phrase, If you happen to do not feel strongly sufficient to say it, you may by no means truly really feel that strongly about stated particular person. Once I lastly felt it there was no denying it, I even let it slip unintentionally earlier than I might deliberate to truly say one thing.”
11. I am not a wuss
“I am not a [wuss]. I say “I really like you.”
12. I do not truly love her
“If he is not saying that he loves you then he does not actually love you but. He is perhaps extremely keen on you, however that is probably not the identical factor.”
How have you learnt if you happen to’re able to say “I really like you”?
Rebecca Jane Stokes is an editor, freelance author, former Senior Employees Author for YourTango, and the previous Senior Editor of Pop Tradition at Newsweek. Her bylines have appeared in Fatherly, Gizmodo, Yahoo Life, Jezebel, Condo Remedy, Bustle, Cosmopolitan, SheKnows, and plenty of others.
